I fell into a swampy hole and now I can’t get out

I cannot bat I cannot bowl oh someone help me out!

I only mustered one single run for the Mighty Greys

But oh my god I sure left my impression in the field that day…

We turned up at St James’ ground the sun was burning hot

Dom was dressed in pastel tones and Diamond Dan was not

Al’s old bones are wearing out unlike his gorgeous teeth

And he stood by the bar all day just resting his gammy knee

Ben lost the toss for the umteenth time, he just can’t get it right

Even though he practises hard throughout the day and night

Instead of 35 overs that we all wanted to play

We had to play their village rules a format old and grey

It turned out we were bowling before Twineham made the tea

At one end Desperate Diamond Dan at the other Sheriff Double Deee

Twineham batted stoically, we tried our best all-round

We helped them out as best we could put every ball to the ground (Oh no)

Quiet Ben he dropped one low and to the right

Hatrick dropped one also coming from a height

Dombo shelled several what astupid mighty plum

And Sheriff Double Dee he dropped one caught up in the sun

Teenwolf too a wicket it ell-bee-double-yooooou

And after that the Might Greys just couldnt break on through
Then all of a sudden their batsmen called a run he couldn’t make (Oh no)

And that was the start of a shouty bit where it all got a bit weird and stuff

I fell into a swampy hole and now I can’t get out

I cannot bat I cannot bowl oh someone help me out!

I only mustered one single run for the Mighty Greys (gulp)

But oh my god I sure left my impression in the field that day…

//Another rappy bit, yawn//

It was that was the man, Guy,

Wearing the Ray Bans,

He took the grandstand

And now we’re all a massive fan of the man

And we said…

Like some short wearing hero with working hands

He dipped like a squirrel for a nut like it was planned

He threw the nut firmly aimed it at the triple sticks

Del took off the bails it was all so wickedy wix… (Champion)

Those wizarly tricks, the pick of the picks, it was it, it was dope, it was sick

Weeeeell…

Shout! Not out!

It’s not out, it’s not out, never ever ever ever gonna be given out

//

Diamond took another wicket, so did Double D

When Robbie flung one t’ward the stumps he took one too with glee

But wait a sec WHO IS THAT GUY!??? underneath the ball, it’s only blimmin mighty Guy

Who’s better than us all

//sailor chorus//

Oh whay a mighty Guy

See those mighty catchy hands

He has never dropped one in the history of the land

He could take a catch wherever they may be

He is the lord of the catch said me

He caught in the morning and he caught in the night

He caught every cricket ball that came into his sight

He caught in his dreams eand he he never dropped a thing

Guy is the lord of the catchy thing… etc etc

He glanced in the morning and he glanced in the night

He glanced every cricket ball that came onto the right

He glanced with such prowess and he glanced off his hip

Double Dee is the lord of the glancy bit

Glance Dave wherever you see fit!

You are the lord of the glancey bit!

And you’ll glance them all whenever you see fit!

And you’ll glamce them all in the glancey bit!

Mumble mumble

(It was a draw by the way).