Decibels – A unit used to measure the power of a signal, such as an electrical signal or sound, relative to some reference level. An increase of ten decibels in the power of a signal is equivalent to increasing its power by a factor of ten.  

Reports were flooding into news channels that there was a moderate hum of annoyance radiating from the Lewes Road area of Brighton when the mumbling mention of Goldstone Caners was made, equal to that of rain (reference chart). Further rumours followed of a protest march taking place in the town centre. Being Brighton, though, nobody could quite pinpoint what the protest was for. However, there was one placard that stated “No More Caners”. 

The Greys arrive at their ‘home’ for that all important fixture in the season – the stand off against Goldstone Caners. TMGs were heading into this one with four wins in four matches. With a fairly strong line up this was surely, surely, the moment we got those collective monkeys off our backs. It was time for the bogey team to cease. 

The Greys would bat first, looking to take the advantage and put some runs on the board, but not before another decibel reading was registered. That of a dog being trodden on.  

Tim Laing, the new face of greys pull out posters (collectables for all greys anoraks), opened up with Dunky Clunky. Caners bowled very well! A difficult track to get to grips with, plenty of nuance, and some deftly accurate deliveries made the going tough. Dunc was the first to depart, popping one back up to the bowler. Joe Walker made his way to the crease looking to get himself going for the Greys this year, and he looked good. Until he did what so many greysman of the past in this fixture have done; he hit a really strong leg side shot and somehow, somehow, the Caners fielder dived forward and managed to hold it in both hands. I think we all knew where this game was heading already, the collective frustration fog began to descend. Tim, improving every game to be a very handy addition to the Greys squad of ‘24, was trapped infront by the deadly accurate Clem. Enter Super Duper Dombo. The FIRE of the order. He’s there with newcomer Jake, with the chance to set about developing the scoreboard. Yet more wizardry and potion deliveries managed to squeeze a ball through Dom and onto the stumps. Dom stood, brain bamboozled as to what had happened. His sigh was picked up by the wicketkeeper, it was about the decibel level of a small refrigerator, escalating to “chat” by the time he got back to the clubhouse. Alex wandered to the crease and supported Jake well to get the score rotating, followed by some double digit inputs from QB and Diamond. Terry, stoic as ever (ever providing a groan of that equivalent to a rustle of leaves), sat in whilst Jake launched a couple of boundaries and a huge maximum over Square Leg. TOOT (truck equivalent). An innings saving 36 came to an end when caught and bowled. EO and Terry saw out the rest until EO bowled by the last ball.  
 
TMGs 103-9 off 35.  

The Greys generally thought it was a score that could be defended on a slow wicket with equally slower outfield if they bowled tight and well. Diamond opened up and struck the second ball. As Nick looped one up to a short midwicket, EO placed exactly where was requested (unusually). EO even rolled his sleeves up whilst the ball was in the air before pouching it safely. With Dom bowling spin up the hill, this bowling partnership was going to put on the pressure. The other opener ran himself out (although initially the umpire wasn’t sure, stood staring at the stumps, forcing the bat to run behind him) and then Diamond set sights on getting through the top order. He broke through the 4th bat, with a release cry matching that of a car engine. Reeling down the hill, following a drop from behind the stumps, the ball pitched and left Lloyd completely in no mans land as it shot in and crashed into the top of off. Diamonds raucous cry, that matched somewhere between a hairdryer and helicopter, sounded around the ground as he picked up his 100th wicket for the Greys (PSM). With the opening spells over, EO and QB kept the pressure on. EO hit the pad solid, EVERYBODY UP (we’re reaching Trombone level), not out (booooooo!). Caners began to accumulate runs heading towards the small target of 104. Tim Laing came into the attack to try and breakthrough towards the end. He did! A great knock from Caners Skipper comes to an end as he hits it to QB (great catch) and then Tim picks up an LBW, after having another turned down. Game on! Tim delivers another excellent delivery, crashing the pads right in front! Eruption. Not Out!!! The Police Siren decibels are heard around the ground – a crime committed! This gave caners the emphasis to edge their way to victory in the 25th over, and with only ten men, TMGS were 2 wickets shy of bringing it home.  
 
Once again, an utterly baffled Greys team left the field, psychologically battered by the Caners. When reports of the first loss of the season ended up back in Hanover, there was an eruption of firework level decibel rage bursting out of a small pocket of Hartington Road!  

Statto’s report
Not a lot to report stats-wise from TMG’s first loss of the season. A new high score (36) for Jake and season’s best bowling figures for Diamond 3-18. In the tables no change at the top of any of the rankings.
In the lifetimes EO is now only one behind DD in the bowling so someone must surely, finally, drag themselves over the finish line and claim the plaudits in the race to 400.
Nowt else going on…not sure who we are playing next week but hopefully back to winning ways…

Stats addendum – Diamond Dan got his 100th wicket for the Greys which won him PSM this week.