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Category Archives: archive

TMGs vs Denton 27th September by Jerry Brasher

October 19, 2020by dunjan 6 Comments

6:15 AM Monday 28th of September: a postman slowly making his way to Newhaven  Delivery Office “for sale: 1 keeley bat, 1 masuri helmet, 1 Denton C C sweatshirt……. why […]

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match reports 2020

TMGs vs Angmering 20th September 2020 by Diamond Dan

September 27, 2020by dunjan 7 Comments

This week’s match report comes in the form of a comic strip… a Grey’s first I believe? (Full text transcription below for accessibility purposes) 1. After a night of fine […]

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match reports 2020

TMGs v Cutter’s Choice 13th September 2020 by Casual Dan

September 16, 2020by dunjan 5 Comments

Nothing beats a good old stitch-up. However it’s never as fun when it’s you, or in this case me, who is on the receiving end! The voting process on the […]

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match reports 2020

TMGs V Mayfield 6th September by “Big Chief” spinning balls

September 10, 2020by dunjan 2 Comments

CONFESSIONS OF A GREYSMAN Those familiar with the antics of Timothy Lea in the popular 1970’s series of British ‘adult’ comedies may wish to look away now.The following match report bears […]

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match reports 2020

TMGs vs Lindfield on 30th August 2020 by Union Dan

September 1, 2020by dunjan 8 Comments

Operation: Three of Diamonds. Crack Team: Field Agents Wig, Biff, Robor, Shadow, Zonk, Clunk, Amstel, Hat-Rick, QB, Eeyo, Postie. All make a circle with your hand and place it around […]

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match reports 2020

TMGs vs Staplefield 23rd August 2020

August 25, 2020by dunjan 7 Comments

In 1987 a crack commando unit was sent to Ford Open Prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from the minimum–security stockade to the Hanover underground. Today, still […]

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match reports 2020

TMGs vs Warninglid 16th August 2020

August 21, 2020by dunjan 3 Comments

Perhaps, more than any other team sport, cricket is influenced by playing conditions, and perhaps, more than any other team sport, over the course of the game, the swing in […]

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match reports 2020

TMGs vs Southwick Wanders 9th August 2020

August 15, 2020by dunjan 3 Comments

Sayers Common. Never the most celebrated Common; it certainly lacks the clout of a Wimbledon or even a Clapham. Nevertheless, not two years previous I remember the place as green […]

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match reports 2020

TMGs vs WG Gracefully 2nd August 2020 by Hatrick

August 6, 2020by dunjan 7 Comments

Audio match report by Hatrick

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match reports 2020

The TMG’s vs. Findon. 26th July 2020

August 2, 2020by dunjan 3 Comments

Findon Cricket Club, nestling under the Downs; deer cavorting in the lynchets – was a perfect setting. The Greys were keen to get a forty over game under their belts […]

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match reports 2020

TMGs vs Scaynes Hill 12th July

July 19, 2020by dunjan 8 Comments

The Mighty Greys has a number of enduring traditions. Whether it’s Terry telling anybody that’ll listen about his century at Bodle Street; Jerry getting caught at slip or gully; Robbie […]

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match reports 2020

TMGs vs Cutters Choice on 15th September by Max Fenton’s dad

September 19, 2019by dunjan 4 Comments

Nothing beats a sunny September day. Clear and crisp but warm enough for t-shirts, and so it turned out on the morning of our fixture against hard to beat Cutters […]

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match reports 2019

TMGs vs Findon Round II on 8th September by Terry Burgess

September 13, 2019by dunjan 7 Comments

6.19 a.m.  Monday 9th September   “Fuck me.  I’m awake.  I think.  My head is thumping.   Think I had too much to dream last night. What time is it?”.  The room is till […]

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match reports 2019

TMGs vs Lindfield 1st September 2019 by Benny “down the” Hill

September 8, 2019by dunjan 4 Comments

An extraordinary run of form for the Greys batting unit meant that the skipper arrived at Lindfield with a few dilemmas. No longer can it be relied upon that batsmen […]

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match reports 2019

TMGs vs Staplefield 25th August 2019 by Terry Burgess

September 1, 2019by dunjan 4 Comments

Long ago, at the beginning of time, Gaia (Mother Earth) asked one of her sons, Cronus, to mutilate his father, Uranus (Sky). Cronus cut off Uranus’ testicles and threw them into the sea. They […]

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match reports 2019

TMGs vs W.G. Gracefully 4th August 2019 by Zachary Maxwell House

August 30, 2019by dunjan 3 Comments

It was a good day, it was a hot day, it was a humid and a little bit overcast. Perfect cricketing weather. It was 25 degrees, overcast and humid; 4 […]

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match reports 2019

TMGs vs Warninglid 18th August 2019 by Jerry Brasher

August 23, 2019by dunjan 3 Comments

For our second game of the season at our old rivals Warninglid TMG’s convened at the Half Moon pub from various parts of the country some hours before the game […]

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match reports 2019

TMGs vs Southwick Wanderers 11 July 2019 By HatRick

August 14, 2019by dunjan 7 Comments

The cold (lengthy) meanderings of HatRick’s uglier, meaner alter ego… BaldRick Everything you know about the game is wrong. Forget the coaching. Forget those long winters in the nets. Forget […]

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match reports 2019

TMGs vs Findon 28th July 2019 by E O Sewell Esq

August 1, 2019by dunjan 6 Comments

Should I Stay or Should I Go?  In many ways a classic Greys team performance with everyone making an important contribution, only with a bolt-on loony bit that I don’t want to think about, so I might […]

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match reports 2019

TMGs vs Streat 21st July 2019 by Robbie Hoare

July 27, 2019by dunjan 4 Comments

A well renowned sports journalist commented to me that he enjoyed my last week’s match report as it contained a lot of cricket. Heart warming as that was this week’s […]

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match reports 2019

The Mighty Greys vs Denton 7th July 2019 by Bongo Hoare 

July 13, 2019by dunjan 6 Comments

When you go to Denton it comes as little surprise that the tea comprises, no salad, and quite a lot of savouries encased in pastry.  Having won the toss Denton elected to […]

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match reports 2019

TMGs vs Reigate Pilgrims 30th June 2019 by Terry “Usain” Burgess

July 2, 2019by dunjan 4 Comments

All season, the standout game on the fixture card has been Southwater. Knowing that a completely new ground has been laid out, manicured and rolled as flat as a shirt […]

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match reports 2019

TMGs vs Brighton and Hove Crescent 23rd June 2019 by Jerry Brasher

June 28, 2019by dunjan 5 Comments

So many ideas , interpretive modern dance , a silent black & white movie with organ soundtrack or even pulling in all my celebrity favours and doing a kind of […]

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match reports 2019

TMGs vs Shaldon Optimists 15 June 2019 by Hatrick

June 22, 2019by dunjan 9 Comments

This week’s match report is in mp3 format for your aural pleasures…

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match reports 2019

TMGs vs Luppitt 16th June 2019 by Biff Line

June 21, 2019by Derek 5 Comments

A drizzly Luppitt  welcomed the double hungover and somewhat bedraggled looking Greys in the now accustomed way. By thrashing them. Though it cannot be doubted that the Luppitteers are ageing […]

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match reports 2019, tour

TMGs vs Bodle Street on 9th June 2019 by Clunker Edwards

June 18, 2019by dunjan 2 Comments

Team news: Dave the Kid Hadrill, EO, Jerry, Hatrick, Dunc, Biff, Alex, Zonk, Terry, and Postman Dan. Probably 4-4-2 formation. 30 overs. This is a long standing Greys fixture – […]

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match reports 2019

TMGs vs Jevington 2nd June 2019 by Zonk Ashton

June 4, 2019by dunjan 5 Comments

Note from the Editor: Not only is Dom smashing Greys’ records on the pitch, he’s also submitting match reports to the Greys’ editorial team by the Tuesday morning. Its May, […]

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match reports 2019

TMGs vs Scaynes Hill 26th May 2019 by Lord Fenton

June 1, 2019by dunjan 3 Comments

The Johnny Fixtures Guide to How to Write a Greys Match Report You should be prepared. If you haven’t been desperately trying to think of an original style or indeed […]

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match reports 2019

TMGs vs Warninglid 19th May 2019 by Terry the Bastard

May 23, 2019by dunjan 5 Comments

When I started playing for the Greys, during the Pleistocene, they introduced me to a man called Bob Golby.   “This is Bob the Bastard”, they said  “Why are you called Bob the Bastard, Bob”, I asked  “Because […]

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match reports 2019

TMGs vs Twineham 12th May 2019 by Zack Maxwell

May 18, 2019by dunjan 7 Comments

It’ another first – TMGs first ever crowd-sourced match report! Duncan: “Biff can you bring your radio?” Biff: “Roger wilco” Biff: “Hang on though, there’s no cricket or rugby on!” […]

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match reports 2019

TMGs vs Jevington 5th May 2019 by Duncan

May 11, 2019by dunjan 4 Comments

Parallel Universes and sliding doors Due to some unsavoury day time quizzing by Mr Sewell, the Mighty Greys Whatsapp group on the lead up to the match was dominated by […]

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match reports 2019

TMGs vs Hartfield 28th April by Rt Hon Terry Burgess

May 1, 2019by dunjan 10 Comments

Well, y’all read these things to see what it says about you, so here it is:    The Greys First Ever Player Rater  vs Hartfield  28th April 2019  Hatrick  Played some terrific flashing blade strokes […]

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match reports 2019

TMGs vs Horley 21st April 2019 by Biff Lineo

April 28, 2019by Derek 8 Comments

HILARITY Scene: HQ, 9pm Sunday, a group of slightly dishevelled men converse in the corner. Dunc: What media will you be employing for the match report Biff? QB:    Medium. Dunc: […]

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match reports 2019

TMGs vs Cutter’s Choice 16th September 2018 by Alex Fenton

October 1, 2018by Derek 5 Comments

This report was going to be entirely made up of small ads (yes, Ian, a bit like your excellent Viz Top Tips), but I ran out of time….. and also […]

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match reports 2018

TMGs vs Watersfield 9th September 2018 by Rob Bob Meek

September 13, 2018by Derek 9 Comments

YES!, NO! WAIT! (SHIT!) That a Greysman can bend over and do an unapologetically naked fart in a dressing room full of his disbelieving teammates after a game in which […]

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match reports 2018

TMGS vs Lindfield 2nd September 2018 by Ben Newland

September 13, 2018by Derek 4 Comments

And the online scorecard from Lindfield: http://lindfield.play-cricket.com/website/results/3337181 Lovely Lindfield, a beautiful late summer’s day, a healthy crowd and that beguiling, voluptuous slope. As per usual for Lindfield it was time game […]

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match reports 2018

TMGs vs Warninglid 26th August 2018 by Ben Newland

August 29, 2018by Derek 9 Comments

“The Once in a Lifetime” match report… And you may find yourself in a pub on a hill And you may find yourself with 10 of your pals And you […]

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match reports 2018

TMGs vs WG Gracefully 5th August 2018 by Dom Ashton

August 10, 2018by Derek 16 Comments

The year is 2048. Climate change has ravaged the planet. Rising sea levels have submerged most of coastal Europe. Only a few areas of the Earths surface remain fit for […]

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match reports 2018

TMGs vs Streat 22nd July 2018 by Richard Partridge

July 28, 2018by dunjan 9 Comments

The parched brown earth at Streat and Westmeston presented gaping fault lines throughout the outfield . With only 4mm of rain since the middles of May the crispy, brown surface […]

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match reports 2018

TMGs vs Scaynes Hill 15th July 2018 by Ian Sewell

July 22, 2018by dunjan 3 Comments

Exciting New Short Game Format with Catchy Name -World CupT20+20(%),(“+another 5%”, pointed out Ben) I am going to take this opportunity to match the style of my report with the […]

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match reports 2018

TMGs vs Denton 8th July 2018 by Alan Gallagher

July 14, 2018by dunjan 5 Comments

On another beautiful, hot, sunny Sunday, the worlds’ greatest cricket team travelled along the coastal road to Newhaven, to play regular opposition Denton. With the skip having won the toss […]

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match reports 2018

TMGs vs Southwater 1st July 2018 by Zack Maxwell

July 14, 2018by dunjan 3 Comments

Sunday night: “Don’t get on the mothership” shouts Alex, “DO NOT GET ON THE MOTHERSHIP!” “Ok mate”, says Biff, ducking just in time as a flock of Pine Martens swoops […]

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match reports 2018

TMGs vs BH Crescent 24th June 2018 by Jerry Brasher

July 6, 2018by Derek 3 Comments

FRIDAY : The Internet is ablaze with the stirring call of democracy as TMG’S own Gina Miller’s demand a vote on the right to do something most other people don’t […]

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match reports 2018

TMGs vs Luppitt 17th June 2018 by Biffo Line

July 1, 2018by Derek 1 Comment

Lovely lovely lovely Luppitt, For not doing a report I am a muppet, Hugely enjoyable cricket match, I won PSM for an overhead catch.   Sorry boys but I haven’t […]

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match reports 2018, tour

TMGS vs Sidbury 16th June 2018 by Dom AshTON!

June 30, 2018by Derek 5 Comments

The Pine Marten is a mysterious, some would say ‘mythical’ bird. Anthropologists have claimed that references to the winged mustelids appear in the writings, carvings and cave paintings of almost […]

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match reports 2018, tour

TMGs vs Buxted Park 10th June 2018 by Richie Partridge

June 11, 2018by Derek 2 Comments

Men in white shirts. Within Buxted Deer Park lies one of the most picturesque cricket fields in England. Formed in 1867 The Buxted Park Cricket Club play on a wicket […]

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match reports 2018

TMGs vs Bodle St – 3rd June 2018 by Jon Kendall

June 10, 2018by Derek 6 Comments

Don’t fuck with the mighty greys. That’s right. Don’t fuck with the mighty greys. It was a hot day, about as hot as a bowl of Dirty Mac’s Mac n […]

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match reports 2018

TMGs vs Upper Beeding 27th May 2018 by Ian Winrow

June 3, 2018by Derek 3 Comments

Upper Beeding 298-9 (40 overs) TMGs 171-9 (40 overs) Ashton 55, Gallagher 42* Upper Beeding won by 127 runs It was one of those days. “I’m going to the shop, […]

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match reports 2018

TMGs vs Warninglid 20th May 2018

May 27, 2018by Derek 4 Comments

And so we move on in the list to Warninglid. Only Staplefield, Twineham and Streat predate this fixture in Greys short, but very notable history. Meet up at the Constant […]

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match reports 2018

TMGs vs Twineham 20th May 2018 by Bob Meek

May 19, 2018by Derek 5 Comments

The mighty greys played away at Twineham, won the toss and decided to bat first-an, biff and rick got us off to a good un, Nice to play on artificial […]

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match reports 2018

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about us…

The Mighty Greys were founded in 1987 by some blokes in the boozer (the Greys Public House in Southover Street) to play in the now defunct Whitbread League. They now consider themselves more than just a pub team, playing many and varied fixtures all over the South East of England during the season, and you can find them most Sundays during the summer in the Constant Service on Islingword Road in Brighton. Whatever they lack in ability they endeavour to make up for in enthusiasm – and they're not adverse to a bit of puerile chat over the odd pint of foaming ale (hence their motto – Beer and Banter). They're not aliens & they’re not parrots but they do talk a strange language and eat millet. The Greys have a formidable reputation in the unregulated & unruly Sussex pub & village cricket scene.

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