“Go shorty, it’s ya birthday,

We gon’ party like it’s ya birthday”

Not my words, but the words of swollen rapper and cultural icon, one Mr 50 ‘fiddy’ Cent. And apt they are for this occasion as the Greys took to the field for their latest adventure on the anniversary of the birth of Mr David Day esquire!

The man himself, Double D that is, not Fiddy, took to the field looking resplendent in pink nail varnish and anti-aging moisturiser and did his usual trick of bowling an opening spell that takes wickets and goes for no runs. Final figures 6-2-11-3 – madness. 

“I’m the diamond in the dirt that ain’t been found”

The other double opened at the other end in similar fashion. Miserly, wonderful bowling that went unrewarded but not unnoticed. Lucky we are to have two such ridiculous opening bowlers. Obviously, the scruffy one could do with birthday boy’s pride in his appearance. Cut your hair, put on a proper suit and the sky’s the limit! 

“It’s ‘bout time you remember the name”

Teen Day then entered the fray- his second appearance for The Mighty Greys. If he improves this much with each appearance then we have a serious bowler on our hands. Dangerous away swing and great perseverance was rewarded with his second wicket in as many games. Good stuff. 

“We roll deep”

The supporting cast, on any other given Sunday, could be considered a stellar attack in its own right – Hoare, Sewell, Newland and Partridge (without looking it up) have 14,000 Greys wickets between them and in general they kept standards reasonably high. The latter two scooping up 5 wickets between them with some classic tried’n’trusted bowling plans – “bowl at the stumps”. Never fails. 

“I’m a seasoned vet when it comes to this shit”

The Greys opened their innings with the experienced pair of Fixtures and The Shadow. Fluidity was hard to come by with the open bowling being rather erratic but the pair stuck around through the opening exchanges and took the shine off the ball. 

“Got the magic stick, I’m the love doctor”

Al’s departure heralded the arrival of Clunky Wowsers, coming in hot off the back of two consecutive half-tons and in the form of his life. The Forge Wood bowlers had obviously studied footage of both innings and gave him no full balls to feed off with his trademark drives through the V. A tad frustrated, Clunksy tried to force things and got caught at mid-off. 

“Look, baby, this is simple, you can’t see…..you fuckin’ with me, you fuckin’ with a P.I.M.P”

Of course, someone who is rather partial to a bit of shorter bowling, is old Jumbo Bumbo. Despite several shorter deliveries being lashed to the boundary, the Forge Wood attack stuck with the ill-advised strategy until lil Bumbo had filled his lil black boots. One particular crossed-batted slap (in a sea of agricultural swipes) was clean enough that the ball sailed over the fence of a reasonably long boundary (PSM). Thanks Tim Keeley for all of your wonderful work!

Bumbo was joined later in the innings by Birth Day who put together a much more stylish and unflustered knock to wrap things up and kick-start the birthday celebrations with a win. 

If they don’t know by now then there’s just no hope……Don’t fuck with the Mighty Greys.