CONFESSIONS OF A GREYSMAN 
Those familiar with the antics of Timothy Lea in the popular 1970’s series of British ‘adult’ comedies may wish to look away now.
The following match report bears little of no relation to the genre apart from a tenuous introduction into the world of childish innuendo.

A sojourn into the Sussex W****d  for the Greysmen this week as they took on Mayfield at THE most picturesque of grounds with an outfield you could eat your l**** off. 

With the skipper AWOL with map issues the task of t*****g  went to B***bo , relishing in his new role as team gimp. You Mayfield said he and in went TMG’s to bat. Flynn, in to win left stranded once more a single his p****y return for the day. 

Rob or Knob joined Buff Line and the two made steady progress, the Senior servant quietly p*****g 8,000 runs in his score of 22 before getting himself out in order to become runner/ fluffer for Jumbo Bumbo- another selfless act from the Grey’s all time leading run s*****.

Helmet trouble was on the horizon for Rob not sure whether to go big, small or none at all the big fella relaxed into this work.

RorB began opening up, a sight to behold his s********y produced the day’s first 6 resulting in maximum horn and a t****r for the Mayfield ladies who hadn’t witnessed this scene before. Runs started to flow from the s***t of his mighty bat – a score and more looked on…

Finally falling for Sixty N***e to the man known as Big Knock the Greys looked set to post what they thought was a reasonable score…hmmm
A series of batsmen c**e and went chipping in valuable runs against a t***t Mayfield bowling attack which managed to reign it in when needed . The Skipper wading in with his big six planted firmly into the b***.

Also leaving smears in the scorebook , B***o , Clun* and Fenton saw TMG’s post 229 from 40.

TEA – The usual veg and no meat for the fittest of the cast , the cast m*****s of the Greys recharged and refreshed took the field.

Bumbo’s early words of warning to the Big Knock about Dan’s Diamond proved deci, the big hitter only going on to score another hundred runs before retiring . It turned into a long , sweaty afternoon as bowler after bowler found a lot of there balls disappearing along way whatever the length . Finally the author after p*****g away with no success passed his 100 wickets millstone when ‘Buster’ Fenton managed to take a miraculous catch with his b*lls – no s**t !!The Greys total of 229 was starting to look about 100 short at this point, not even the possible sight of EO’s shapely b******s and his big swingers seemed enough to pull this one off and so it was to prove.

Mayfield running out deserved winners with 15 overs to spare, the players retired to the clubhouse for beer, some hot meat and some dubious tunes from Anka.

The final Confessions of the day being we were outplayed but entertained royally by the Oppo and please can we come again ?????