TMGs vs Findon Round II on 8th September by Terry Burgess
6.19 a.m. Monday 9th September “Fuck me. I’m awake. I think. My head is thumping. Think I had too much to dream last night. What time is it?”. The room is till […]
Category Archives: archive
TMGs vs Lindfield 1st September 2019 by Benny “down the” Hill
An extraordinary run of form for the Greys batting unit meant that the skipper arrived at Lindfield with a few dilemmas. No longer can it be relied upon that batsmen […]
TMGs vs Staplefield 25th August 2019 by Terry Burgess
Long ago, at the beginning of time, Gaia (Mother Earth) asked one of her sons, Cronus, to mutilate his father, Uranus (Sky). Cronus cut off Uranus’ testicles and threw them into the sea. They […]
TMGs vs W.G. Gracefully 4th August 2019 by Zachary Maxwell House
It was a good day, it was a hot day, it was a humid and a little bit overcast. Perfect cricketing weather. It was 25 degrees, overcast and humid; 4 […]
TMGs vs Warninglid 18th August 2019 by Jerry Brasher
For our second game of the season at our old rivals Warninglid TMG’s convened at the Half Moon pub from various parts of the country some hours before the game […]
TMGs vs Southwick Wanderers 11 July 2019 By HatRick
The cold (lengthy) meanderings of HatRick’s uglier, meaner alter ego… BaldRick Everything you know about the game is wrong. Forget the coaching. Forget those long winters in the nets. Forget […]
TMGs vs Findon 28th July 2019 by E O Sewell Esq
Should I Stay or Should I Go? In many ways a classic Greys team performance with everyone making an important contribution, only with a bolt-on loony bit that I don’t want to think about, so I might […]
TMGs vs Streat 21st July 2019 by Robbie Hoare
A well renowned sports journalist commented to me that he enjoyed my last week’s match report as it contained a lot of cricket. Heart warming as that was this week’s […]
The Mighty Greys vs Denton 7th July 2019 by Bongo Hoare
When you go to Denton it comes as little surprise that the tea comprises, no salad, and quite a lot of savouries encased in pastry. Having won the toss Denton elected to […]
TMGs vs Reigate Pilgrims 30th June 2019 by Terry “Usain” Burgess
All season, the standout game on the fixture card has been Southwater. Knowing that a completely new ground has been laid out, manicured and rolled as flat as a shirt […]
TMGs vs Brighton and Hove Crescent 23rd June 2019 by Jerry Brasher
So many ideas , interpretive modern dance , a silent black & white movie with organ soundtrack or even pulling in all my celebrity favours and doing a kind of […]
TMGs vs Shaldon Optimists 15 June 2019 by Hatrick
This week’s match report is in mp3 format for your aural pleasures…
TMGs vs Luppitt 16th June 2019 by Biff Line
A drizzly Luppitt welcomed the double hungover and somewhat bedraggled looking Greys in the now accustomed way. By thrashing them. Though it cannot be doubted that the Luppitteers are ageing […]
TMGs vs Bodle Street on 9th June 2019 by Clunker Edwards
Team news: Dave the Kid Hadrill, EO, Jerry, Hatrick, Dunc, Biff, Alex, Zonk, Terry, and Postman Dan. Probably 4-4-2 formation. 30 overs. This is a long standing Greys fixture – […]
TMGs vs Jevington 2nd June 2019 by Zonk Ashton
Note from the Editor: Not only is Dom smashing Greys’ records on the pitch, he’s also submitting match reports to the Greys’ editorial team by the Tuesday morning. Its May, […]
TMGs vs Scaynes Hill 26th May 2019 by Lord Fenton
The Johnny Fixtures Guide to How to Write a Greys Match Report You should be prepared. If you haven’t been desperately trying to think of an original style or indeed […]
TMGs vs Warninglid 19th May 2019 by Terry the Bastard
When I started playing for the Greys, during the Pleistocene, they introduced me to a man called Bob Golby. “This is Bob the Bastard”, they said “Why are you called Bob the Bastard, Bob”, I asked “Because […]
TMGs vs Twineham 12th May 2019 by Zack Maxwell
It’ another first – TMGs first ever crowd-sourced match report! Duncan: “Biff can you bring your radio?” Biff: “Roger wilco” Biff: “Hang on though, there’s no cricket or rugby on!” […]
TMGs vs Jevington 5th May 2019 by Duncan
Parallel Universes and sliding doors Due to some unsavoury day time quizzing by Mr Sewell, the Mighty Greys Whatsapp group on the lead up to the match was dominated by […]
TMGs vs Hartfield 28th April by Rt Hon Terry Burgess
Well, y’all read these things to see what it says about you, so here it is: The Greys First Ever Player Rater vs Hartfield 28th April 2019 Hatrick Played some terrific flashing blade strokes […]
TMGs vs Horley 21st April 2019 by Biff Lineo
HILARITY Scene: HQ, 9pm Sunday, a group of slightly dishevelled men converse in the corner. Dunc: What media will you be employing for the match report Biff? QB: Medium. Dunc: […]
TMGs vs Cutter’s Choice 16th September 2018 by Alex Fenton
This report was going to be entirely made up of small ads (yes, Ian, a bit like your excellent Viz Top Tips), but I ran out of time….. and also […]
TMGs vs Watersfield 9th September 2018 by Rob Bob Meek
YES!, NO! WAIT! (SHIT!) That a Greysman can bend over and do an unapologetically naked fart in a dressing room full of his disbelieving teammates after a game in which […]
TMGS vs Lindfield 2nd September 2018 by Ben Newland
And the online scorecard from Lindfield: http://lindfield.play-cricket.com/website/results/3337181 Lovely Lindfield, a beautiful late summer’s day, a healthy crowd and that beguiling, voluptuous slope. As per usual for Lindfield it was time game […]
TMGs vs Warninglid 26th August 2018 by Ben Newland
“The Once in a Lifetime” match report… https://gph.is/2oeFvC4 And you may find yourself in a pub on a hill And you may find yourself with 10 of your pals And […]
TMGs vs WG Gracefully 5th August 2018 by Dom Ashton
The year is 2048. Climate change has ravaged the planet. Rising sea levels have submerged most of coastal Europe. Only a few areas of the Earths surface remain fit for […]
TMGs vs Streat 22nd July 2018 by Richard Partridge
The parched brown earth at Streat and Westmeston presented gaping fault lines throughout the outfield . With only 4mm of rain since the middles of May the crispy, brown surface […]
TMGs vs Scaynes Hill 15th July 2018 by Ian Sewell
Exciting New Short Game Format with Catchy Name -World CupT20+20(%),(“+another 5%”, pointed out Ben) I am going to take this opportunity to match the style of my report with the […]
TMGs vs Denton 8th July 2018 by Alan Gallagher
On another beautiful, hot, sunny Sunday, the worlds’ greatest cricket team travelled along the coastal road to Newhaven, to play regular opposition Denton. With the skip having won the toss […]
TMGs vs Southwater 1st July 2018 by Zack Maxwell
Sunday night: “Don’t get on the mothership” shouts Alex, “DO NOT GET ON THE MOTHERSHIP!” “Ok mate”, says Biff, ducking just in time as a flock of Pine Martens swoops […]
TMGs vs BH Crescent 24th June 2018 by Jerry Brasher
FRIDAY : The Internet is ablaze with the stirring call of democracy as TMG’S own Gina Miller’s demand a vote on the right to do something most other people don’t […]
TMGs vs Luppitt 17th June 2018 by Biffo Line
Lovely lovely lovely Luppitt, For not doing a report I am a muppet, Hugely enjoyable cricket match, I won PSM for an overhead catch. Sorry boys but I haven’t […]
TMGS vs Sidbury 16th June 2018 by Dom AshTON!
The Pine Marten is a mysterious, some would say ‘mythical’ bird. Anthropologists have claimed that references to the winged mustelids appear in the writings, carvings and cave paintings of almost […]
TMGs vs Buxted Park 10th June 2018 by Richie Partridge
Men in white shirts. Within Buxted Deer Park lies one of the most picturesque cricket fields in England. Formed in 1867 The Buxted Park Cricket Club play on a wicket […]
TMGs vs Bodle St – 3rd June 2018 by Jon Kendall
Don’t fuck with the mighty greys. That’s right. Don’t fuck with the mighty greys. It was a hot day, about as hot as a bowl of Dirty Mac’s Mac n […]
TMGs vs Upper Beeding 27th May 2018 by Ian Winrow
Upper Beeding 298-9 (40 overs) TMGs 171-9 (40 overs) Ashton 55, Gallagher 42* Upper Beeding won by 127 runs It was one of those days. “I’m going to the shop, […]
TMGs vs Warninglid 20th May 2018
And so we move on in the list to Warninglid. Only Staplefield, Twineham and Streat predate this fixture in Greys short, but very notable history. Meet up at the Constant […]
TMGs vs Twineham 20th May 2018 by Bob Meek
The mighty greys played away at Twineham, won the toss and decided to bat first-an, biff and rick got us off to a good un, Nice to play on artificial […]
TMGs vs Jevington 6th May 2018 by Duncan Edwards
Mighty Greys Podcast:
TMGs vs Hartfield 29th April 2018 by Biffo Line
After the summer day of cricket last week it was back to the wooly hats for the Greys at Hartfield. The pitch was so sodden it was deemed to be […]
TMGS Vs Horley – 22nd April 2018 by Jon Kendall
A day of firsts and from what I’ve been told, not firsts. My first match for TMGS, My first catch for TMGS, (no this report will not be in rhyming […]
TMGs vs Horley (again) 1st October 2017 by Duncan Edwards
Special Investigation: The Horley Papers The Horley Papers is a special investigation by the Greys and 95 media partners worldwide into a leak of 13.4m files from two offshore service […]
TMGs vs Lindfield (again) 24th September 2017 by Ben Newland.
OI! YOU! YES YOU!!!!! COME ON THEN!!!! I’LL *\@5}&^1* HAVE YOU!!!!!!! It’s the LINDFIELD, Ben Stokes inspired, AGGGGRO!!!! Match report. (Disclaimer: In reality this game was played in a good […]
TMGs vs Balcombe 17th September 2017 by Alan Gallagher
With three games remaining in the season, and the Greys finding themselves one down in their win loss ratio, TMG arrived at Balcombe looking to even things up. The day […]
TMGs vs Poynings 10th September 2017 by Rik Flynn (AUDIO2!)
MC HAT-RICK (feat. FIDDY RUNS) The ‘DIFFICULT SECOND’ Match Report POYNINGS vs. TMGs Here it is, the final hip-hop match report I will ever do (I promise). Yes, there are […]
TMGs vs Lindfield 4th September, 2017 by Duncan Edwards
Wet and wild at Lindfield The Mighty Geys arrived at a grey and overcast Lindfield missing a key character. With rain forecast for later, El Capitan and his Lindfield opposite […]
TMGS vs Ifield 27th August 2017 by Alan Galagher
In a first for the Greys, the cancellation of the scheduled Sunday game saw a hastily arranged fixture taking place on a Monday, against new opposition, in the form of […]
TMGs vs Warninglid 20th August 2017 by Biff Line
Good game, good game! After turning down the opportunity to play last man stand, one hand one bounce, no lb’s, French cricket in favour of proper cricket the Greys were […]
TMGs vs Southwick Wanderers (part two) 13th August 2017 by Terry Burgess.
No one teaches you how to deal with this…Y’know…Anno Domini…Tempus Fugit. That kind of stuff. First your body goes, especially your eyes. Like right now. Watching the boys at Edgbaston […]
TMGs vs WG Gracefully 6th August 2017 by Ricky Southon
Hallo, so here we are at Isfield to play W G Gracefully in the glorious Sussex country side, home of the Isley brothers ( fake news) the M G’s won […]
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