TMGs vs W.G. Gracefully 4th August 2019 by Zachary Maxwell House

It was a good day, it was a hot day, it was a humid and a little bit overcast. Perfect cricketing weather.

It was 25 degrees, overcast and humid; 4 degrees above the historical average.

It was the 216th day of the year (149 days remaining).

I read this morning that Nuon Chea, a.k.a. Brother Number Two, died today aged 93, unrepentant.

He was second-in-command to Khmer Rouge leader Pol Pot during the Cambodian genocide of 1975–1979.


It was Barack Obama’s birthday.

It was the 38th birthday of the Duchess of Sussex.

It was on this day in 1944 that a tip from a Dutch informer lead the Gestapo to an Amsterdam warehouse, where they found and arrested Anne Frank and her family.

Isfield is an ancient village, it was originally sited adjacent to the ford where the London to Lewes Roman road crossed the river River Ouse.

Dom won the toss in QB’s absence and, as instructed, opted to bat first.

Local legend has it that Kind Harold spent the night before the Battle of Hastings in the village.


The skipper arrived, much to everyone’s relief, on the stroke of 2.

The Mighty Greys faced an epic battle for their little slice of English cricketing pride.

Not since 2013 had the TMGs been able to overcome the Isfield team.

After six long years in the wilderness, would the TMGs be able to UTF and proudly proclaim DFWTMG?

Blast from the past, Biff and Jerry opened for TMGs

Jerry got off to a customary start, timing the ball nicely, some lovely late cuts, a sweet, sweet pull over square leg for four (PSM nom).

Biff struggled to get his feet moving, but hung on, slowly grinding down the Isfield bowlers.

Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, single (big celebration – PSM nom), single, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, single, dot, single, dot, dot, single, single, two, single, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, bangs a lovely straight four.

Jerry caught on 37. 49 for 1 after 13.

Next up, our man Roborbob strides to crease. Plays himself in like a real batsman. 95 runs later and one giant six hit down to the playground (PSM nom), he strolls back, sweaty and tired. Good job done. Masterful jug avoidance.

Dom’s first scoring shot is a slog sweep six (PSM nom).

Zack smashes his first ball: straight back-foot drive for four, they call it the ‘Zack back and crack’ mate (PSM nom).

Good tea plenty of sandwiches, lots of cakes, scones with clotted cream and jam – I had 5, it was brilliant, I felt amazing, so much sugar.

QB and Alan open the bowling. It was sweaty from the off.

Alan, despite not having the usual white sweatband clamped tightly around his noggin, bowled like a champ.

Plenty of pace and guile, the ball spit and fizzed.

Reverted to the old left arm over action, excellent line and length, plenty of pace; occasional short ball to challenge and unsettle.

Taking out danger man Fellows in the 5th over with a slower ball which he was looking to belt for six, but only succeeded in launching into the stratosphere above deep mid-wicket.

It was a gentle trot across from long-on for Maxwell to nail a regulation catch (PSM) – the first time in the history of The Mighty Greys we got Mr Fellows our for less 50.

Last year he smashed us for an unbeaten 174.

The WG no.2 was gone shortly after when he scooped one to long-on, an easy catch snaffled by Maxwell jogging backwards from mid-on

No.3 was bowled by Newland with a gorgeous floating slower ball Yorker, that glided through the batsman’s defences.

No 4. didn’t last long, skittled by Alan for 4 (PMS nom)

There followed an epic battle of wills between Clunk le Dunc and M. Wise, who kept clubbing it down to the garage at backward square leg. The trap was set, Clunk looped a gimme down the wicket and Wise obligingly clubbed it to backward square leg where Dom was patiently waiting to grab it out of the sky (PSM nom), eager to redeem his earlier hilarious juggling four-drops-not-a-catch off QB at mid-wicket (PSM nom).


Will the TMGs be able to UTF and proudly proclaim DFWTMG?

Will Duncan make a ridiculous appeal for caught behind when the batsman plays and misses by 10 inches? Will Trevor, fielding at point, make a huge solo appeal for LBW?

Tune in next time to find out!

3 responses to “TMGs vs W.G. Gracefully 4th August 2019 by Zachary Maxwell House

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