TMGs vs Hartfield 29th April 2018 by Biffo Line

After the summer day of cricket last week it was back to the wooly hats for the Greys at Hartfield. The pitch was so sodden it was deemed to be fit only for a 20 over match. All deliveries down the leg side would be wides and no balls would be followed by a free hit. If you think that sounds like a recipe for disaster for the Greys then you are an astute observer of our wonderful game and TMG’s version of it.

Dom duly obliged with a no ball first up and extras inevitably claimed top score (jointly with the opener) for Hartfield. Dom ended up with 3 wickets, Biff and Terry 2 a piece, Dimu picked up 1 on debut while Ben and Hatrick bowled tidily but wicketlessly. They were one short and the other wicket was a run out for Ben via Dimu’s drop and throw routine. PSM would later be awarded for a steepling over the shoulder running catch from Biffo who also put in a decent shift with the towel without throwing it in. 86 was the target, seemingly well within our grasp.

Those who see in t20 cricket a drop in standards should have been there for “tea”. Of cheese there was none, of sandwiches of any description there were none. A cup of and a slice of cake! Our sorely missed enigmatic friend in the North would not have been able to fill his gob let alone his pockets.

Openers Jerry and Alex each grabbed a single before being dismissed whereupon Zac and Alalalan played some great shots and ran well (mostly) to put us well placed at the half way point. Duncleton, Dimu, Dom and Hatrick however could not find the boundary and we slipped back in the running. It fell to Dom to pick up 6 from the last 5 balls but he was unable to make contact with any of them and the match was lost.

Biff, whose 7000 runs for the club had earned him the number 9 spot in the batting, was not needed. Neither were greys legend Terry and skipper Ben. Awful though this was it was sadly not the low point of the affair. After getting back to the pub early at 7, skipper , vice and all the “young“ people were home by half 8 leaving the cervisia et cavillatio to a couple of oldies and non playing greysmen (Wiggle and Our Man in Burma).

The End  is Nigh.
This match report will be followed by a short quiz.

Question 1

How did the Mighty Greys become the greatest cricket club in the world?

A;  By accident

B;  Bigger boys did it and ran away

C;  Just by like, literally kind of whatever and that

D;  By a concerted and deliberate effort over a long period of time by lots of funny drunk people

Question 2

What would Io do?


6 responses to “TMGs vs Hartfield 29th April 2018 by Biffo Line

  1. Short and sweet, like the tea, which was free, to be fair, and probably in keeping with the format.
    Hope you get those pesky nitrogen bubbles out of your bloodstream by next week, Biffo.
    What would Io do? Io, what would you do?

  2. That game has given me nightmares. How on earth???? As for the feeble, frail – frankly unsubstantial – showing from the youthful fraternity, your point is duly noted but… having smashed it so very very (very) hard the night before and having to get up exceedingly early for work the next day to either a) teach younger people or b) be an international spy conserving the national interest – I feel we should be given a pass. Some would say ‘no excuse’, but incredibly easy to say when you don’t have to assassinate people for a living, or indeed, get up early on a Monday… (Dunc can you pull a sicky?)

    All will return to Grey’s normality next week – I assure you mate. ‘Normal’ being a concerted and deliberate effort by lots of funny drunk people to stay in the Constant until they can’t see, The end is most certainly not nigh, or even close to nigh.

  3. nice report Biff. The last over of this game is already featuring heavily in my nightmares and will probably haunt me forever. I apologise to all concerned again.

    I’d also like to congratulate Wig for turning up for the drinking in the evening, though it could be argued that the future of the club relies, at least in part, on people turning up to play in the actual cricket matches. *winky face emoji*

  4. Wot no scorebook???
    What’s a stato to do?
    There was a time when people only played cricket to be allowed to go to the pub. Certain greysman were known to do a rain dance every sunday morning on the off chance that we would be able to pull a “Leo”.

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