The Greys are more aptly named with each passing week it seems. Elderly people benefit hugely from keeping what is left of their minds active and so a big welcome to the TMG vs Jevington interactive play! You can do all the silly accents and effects from the comfort of your special armchair whether you have bones or not! There are fun sounds to make and even a guess the insult section!
Just a word on the bracketed sections, the first part is a description of the events so you can imagine being there as you have probably forgotten, the second is a suggestion for how to achieve the required sound effect! You don’t have to follow them, you can use what is available in your facility!
(Four men in a car driving, drive a car)
QB ; Turn your indicator off Io
DD ; Turn your indicator off Io
Biff ; Turn your indicator off Io
QB ; Turn your wipers off Io
Repeat until not funny
Io ; What roundabout are we on? I know exactly what I’m doing.
(Eleven men on frozen landscape with driving hailstones, take your teeth out and blow hard)
Biff ; Did the one that got me do anything Dave?
DD ; Yeah it hit your middle stump
Everyone ; Shot Hatrick
Repeat until barely believable on that surface
Everyone ; Shot Jerry
The Major off Fawlty Towers ; Good show
QB ; Hatrick is playing on a different pitch. Pardon? No its just an expression
Tel ; Foreign muck, give me a nice cup of tea any day
(Two blows of a horn, take half your teeth out and blow sideways)
Everyone ; Batted Hatrick
Zonc ; Its actually vegan tempura whitebait, (sound of Chiefy ploughing through and collapsing in a bid to regain the special chair, throw the contents of your larder and your zimmer down the stairs) WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING CHIEF YOU TOTAL S*&$!!!!
Io ; I don’t think you can actually say that these days
Zonc ; He nearly broke my ACL !!!
Henry Blofeld ; You can still get the cricket on VHF old boy, long wave
The Kid ; I did have a bit taken off the ends
Rob ; Good point, we better get out there, I’m opening
(Sound of creaking joints and groaning, just listen)
(A quick fire of wickets being hit and frozen hands being clapped, lean your pacemaker next to the microwave)
Biff ; Go for it Chiefy! You’ve got a great chance of catching that if you get a move on. Honestly, I really think…..
(Chief’s body hits the track in several distinct impacts, triple jump into hard boiled eggs)
(Laughter, remember the old days and see if you can still do it)
(A crack of bat on ball followed by a long silence then quiet conversation, the clink of cups on saucers, some gentle weeping; use ambient sounds in your ‘home’)
(Tumbleweed, tumbleweed has no sound, ask Ben)
Alex ; its coming down like a doodlebug
Jerry ; I love that one, its starts off like a twist then you sort of step sideways and kick your heal up.
Rick ; Biff!
QB ; Ten to one chance
Biff ; Ouch
Everyone ; Great catch Biff!
QB ; Don’t fuck with the Mighty Greys
Armed Guard at the pub ; Your papers are not good for seven o’clock scweinhundt, come back at eight
Alex ; All back to mine
Everyone ; Hurrah! cheers Al
Tel ; its eight! Over the road we go
QB ; All eleven in the house!
Rick ; Bingo!
Dodgy geezers ; Fiver
Everyone ; Woohoo!
Robby ; I rest my case. What did I say?
(More laughter, see above)
Alex ; All back to mine
Everyone ; Hurrah , cheers Al
Rowley Burkin ; I’m afraid I was really, very, very drunk
I want to triple jump into hard boiled eggs to see if it really sounds like Chiefy hitting the deck. Top work Biffster.
You can teach old dogs new tricks. Toss him a bone!
Jevington, the home of Banoffee Pie.
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