6:15 AM Monday 28th of September: a postman slowly making his way to Newhaven Delivery Office “for sale: 1 keeley bat, 1 masuri helmet, 1 Denton C C sweatshirt……. why him , why him…… sod it…. free to whoever wants 1 keeley bat , slight mark on inside edge….”
At the same time that morning Jerry pulled the duvet back over his head and returned to the land of nod and his continuing dream of the events of the day before.
Biff & Dunc opened with both out cheaply: Biff to one that nipped across from outside leg and Dunc to a “well disguised” slower ball. HatRick batted beautifully until he became the first of Poulton the Younger’s victims.
Dan C batted very well including some mighty sixes before he was stumped for 44; Jerry and Alex went cheaply.
Dom racked up a rapid 41 not out supported by Tel, Ben and a fleet footed Ian with TMG’S ending on 182.
Dan struck in his first over (yawn) ending with 2-7, Ben took 3 wickets for 0 (zero) runs, Biff (14-0) & Ian (6-1) were a bit “expensive” and it fell to Grey old boys Jerry and Tel (4-1) to finish off any resistance.
Younger readers may only know Jerry from the scorebook “Brasher Caught Gully Bowled everyone in Sussex“. However, in the distant past he bowled many an over, and I can’t quite believe this, was even the leading wicket taker one year. After being tossed the ball by QB a certain Lee Poulton clipped Jerry’s first ball through mid wicket for 4. Suitably annoyed, Jerry removed his cap and long sleeve jumper and bowled a back of a length out swinger that seamed back in catching the inside edge of Lee’s bat and crashing…. YES….. CRASHING into the stumps. Jerry ever the sportsman nodded to Lee said “unlucky” and accepted the congratulations of his teammates……. did he fuck, channeling his full Imran Tahir he’s set off around the square – arms spread like a stealth bomber and completing a full lap so he could give Lee “the eyes” as he trudged off (PSM).
After this there was no stopping Jerry who took 2 more courtesy of a nicely juggled catch by QB at square leg and a caught and bowled finishing with 3 wickets for the solitary 4 conceded first ball. TMG’s ended up easy winners with Denton all out for 38. It was left to QB to gather the team together and utter the (non) traditional Grey’s call and response………………………. QB: You Joined The Club Us: You didn’t fucking make it
D F W T M G
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Well. That one made me laugh as much as any match report I’ve watched/read/listened to/absorbed through osmosis. Brilliant work Jerry (and Dunc, although why is it in mirror image?) And your celebration went on much longer than that.
You will need to wait for the director’s cut – 3 hours 32 minutes of celebration. I mean, is that art?
Brilliant, hilarious and worth the wait, though I was half expecting M to walk in at any point and ask wtf you were up to. Didn’t she want to play the part of L Poulton?
Good posting too Dunc.
I still haven’t made it past the bit where Carlos Valderrama messes with the space-time continuum but so far it’s an enthralling match-report….
Hilarious! The Greys batting looks pretty tasty with so many hairy left handers.
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