TMGs vs Goldstone Caners on 30th May 2021 by Robbie

“Goldstone Caners? We’ll show ‘em” purred Chiefy as we surveyed our opposition. 9 men of a similar demographic to TMG’s.

I don’t know if we won or lost the toss but we batted first. Jerry and Copius Dee opening the batting for the Greysmen. RoborBob’s sage words were still echoing in Jerry’s head “get forwards it will keep low” as he went back and was clean bowled for a diamond duck hmmm.

Run machine R. Meek came next and played some trademark stylish and powerful shots. The pick being a back foot drive through the covers that went all along the ground through the hedge and onto the other pitch (psm nom). Dan at the other end struggled to find his normal flowing style but outlasted Rob as he nicked one to the keeper falling for 21.

A rather dishevelled Dom came in at 4 and despite a stellar hangover he looked in good nick scoring at a run a ball. At the other end Dan was trying to push on. The keeper missed one stumping, but not the next and Dan was out for 12.

A man called Clunk came next in time to get a good view of Dom nicking to the keeper who took a great catch.

The Caners may have been only 9, (a 10th man did turn up after an hour or so) but they bowled tight lines on a pitch that always favoured the bowlers.

The Shadow joined Le Clunk but they could only add a further 9 runs before Duncan fell to a slightly contentious dismissal. So much so that our normally reserved and softly spoken skipper leapt to his feet hollering that the keeper had kicked the stumps (psm nom). Turns out what actually happened is Dunc missed the ball and it ricocheted off his pad onto the stumps.

Enter Alex, he too looked in good form hitting a lovely on-drive down the hill for 4 (psm nom). However, Terry couldn’t stay with him trapped LBW for 8.

Next up QB who all agree is the Greys’ most improved batsman. He looked solid and played some lovely looking shots in particular a sumptuous back foot drive straight back past the bowler (psm nom). Alex became the 2nd Greysman to be LBW and the 7th wicket with the score on 103, his contribution 15.

Chiefy came in at 9 a batsman with a certain Caribbean panache to his shot play. Everything went square of the wicket in particular a powerful cut that went for 4 (psm nom). Chiefy and QB added 23 to the score before Chief was bowled for 9.

This brought Diamond Dan to the crease with 3 overs left and a score of 126. He started well with a nice clip off his pads for a single but fell a few balls later missing a ball that bowled him for 3.

Last man Robbie H looked solid and played beautifully with his trademark swipe and miss – bowled for an ignominious duck leaving Ben stranded on 21, with the Greys all out for 134. A total that looked defendable on a bowler friendly wicket and a strong looking Greys attack.

Diamond took the first over coming down the hill bowling with good pace and tight lines. The skipper came up the hill and also bowled well. After 12 overs, however, we had failed to make a breakthrough. Jerry having dismissed Chiefy from point because “you have to be able to catch at point” (psm nom) promptly dropped an apparently straight-forward catch that went straight through his hand and bounced off his knee producing a pleasing “boink” (psm nom).

Duncan went on to reinforce Jezza’s point by dropping a chance spooned out to square leg (psm nom).

With the Caners openers looking set the skipper rang the changes taking himself off and bringing on the veteran Hoare.

Dan bowled through finishing with figures of 8-3-23-0, he deserved a wicket and saw a sharp chance to Alex behind the stumps go down.

Not to be left out Dom spilled a catch in the covers, not an easy chance but probably one he would back himself to take (psm nom).

With the score on 75 Rob finally made the breakthrough getting the Caners #1 LBW for 20.

Dom had come into the attack and bowled with genuine pace getting a edge that flew wide of the slip.

Terry fielding in the gully rolled back the years to make a dramatic Bankseque diving save (psm nom).

The fall of the opener brought a left hander to the wicket. Rob went round the wicket and promptly chucked 2 down leg both being wided much to Alex’s chagrin (psm nom).

Rob finally removed the other opener (after he had reached his half century) with a mistimed drive pouched by Robor at mid-off (psm nom).

This brought another left-hander to the crease. Eschewing the round the wicket wides Rob stayed over the wicket and bowled one of the best balls of his career (even though I say so myself). A cutter that pitched middle and leg and hit the top of off, the batsman playing a forward defensive (psm winner). Rob finished a ball later with figures of 8-1-21-3.

Dom had come off to be replaced by Big Chief Turning Ball who bowled with nice control but no wickets finishing with 5-0-11-0.

The third wicket had gone down with the score on 94, and a flurry of wickets would have kept us in the game but it was not to be. With some powerful hitting from the Caners #3 ruining QB’s figures who had brought himself back on – going from 6 overs for 18 to finish with figures of 8-0-36-0. Dom came back on to bowl an over of spin which similarly did not improve his figures finishing with 5.5-1-40-0. The Caners eventually finished at a canter with 5 overs and 6 wickets to spare.

Special mention to their #5 who was playing his first game for 30 odd years and finished 13 not out hitting 3 fours.

It is an old adage oft trotted out by tired old hacks that “catches win matches” this may or may not be true but we found out today that drops certainly lose them.

We adjourned to HQ for AGM part 2 and much merriment, and yes, Chief, I think we did show them!

5 responses to “TMGs vs Goldstone Caners on 30th May 2021 by Robbie

  1. Match reporting the way it used to be. It actually brought back memories of a game we played last Sunday…

  2. If you are going to be all ‘journalistic’, there is a misleading grammatical construction in the second paragraph. The relative pronoun ‘who’ would have ensured the that the reader understood it was Robor who nicked off, not Copious Dan.

  3. Great stuff , it was like i was there again…..the horror, the horror ! Always nice to get a bit of grammar advice from the The King of Clarity .

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