Free the Hove one (wanker?) 

Playing for the Greys can never said to be a dull experience, these geezers are proper characters. But this was a first even for us. A greysman, Dom, locked in (not out) his flat. Long story short he got out, after paying a man £95 to come round so he could post his keys out the letterbox for said man to open the door with the key, I’d have done it for half of that. 

The week had started with the now customary *BREAKING NEWS* the oppo can’t get a team together – Alex forced to leap into action to sort a replacement. This week’s surprise opposition a Hove tennis club called The Grasshoppers. 

The Greys were also struggling to put a team together so winter netters James & Jake were pressganged along with Biff’s mate Richard and it also saw the long awaited return of legendary Greys lothario Ricky Southon. Special mention also to Alex who played mute as he was post a throat op. 

We convened at Hove Rec (Ricky coming via Bhasvic) in beautiful May sunshine. 

I think we lost the toss and were put into the field. Jake and Tim opening the bowling both taking a wicket in their first over to remove the Grasshoppers openers. Tim then removed the #3 and at 20 for 3 Grasshoppers didn’t seem to be offering that much in the way of opposition. However the batting was hidden down the order.  

Their number 4, Fahed, after a scratchy start soon started to stretch his legs (and arms) he was joined at the crease by the ‘Hoppers #6 (rumour has it an ex Hampshire pro). This pair piled on the runs and both retired at 50. Mustafa at #7 scored a quick fire 32 and was dropped twice behind by part-time keeper QB and hapless slipper Hoare.  

Once Mustafa was dispatched the remaining batters didn’t last long leaving the crease open for the half centurians to return. Mr Ex Hampshire was the first to return but was brilliantly caught by Hatrick taking a steepling catch whilst stepping over small children on the boundary. Fahed then returned and looked dangerous until he slashed a cut hard and low to Hoare (moved from the slips to backward point) onlookers said Hoare moved with cat like grace to fall over and catch the ball and was duly awarded PSM. 

The Hoppers were done, all out for 189. Other notable fielding contributions Biff’s now customary knee slide catch; Jake’s 3 catches in one as he juggled a sharp chance to take it at the third attempt; Tim’s sharp catch at mid off; and Ricky’s whole bowling spell every ball on the money and 2 wickets for naff all. 

After last week’s heroic 86* (carrying his bat), Hatrick, as he pootled out to the middle with Biff to open the Greys innings, must have been eyeing another high score. But, alas, it was not to be, despite a lovely lofted straight drive for 4, he was back in the hutch LBW for 8 in the 5^th over. Biff was joined by Tim and they had a fine old time both smashing unbeaten 50’s both off 39 balls all very symmetrical. Tim’s knock included a 6 which produced an embarrassing silence as the numpties of the boundary searched for the horn, Biff fumed, when eventually found the horn was sounded as the bowler released the ball – smooth. 

The score was 124 for 1 when Tim retired and the Greys appeared to be cruising. This proved to be the case and despite a steady fall of wickets (including Dom uncharacteristically for less than 50 (apparently he was cleaned out after the locksmith and couldn’t afford a jug)). Jake and QB at 8 & 9 steered the Mighty Greys ship safely home both scoring 20 odd with some lusty boundaries. 

The Mighty Greys had won again… 4 in a row…as the beer flowed back at the Station in Hove we congratulated ourselves on this feat and the fact that it rarely happened, actually the last time we did this was only 3 years ago in 2021 but still not too shabby… 

For those of you interested in these kinds of things our best opening to the season as in longest unbeaten streak was 2019 when we didn’t lose until the 6^th game of the season, however, we drew the first 3 games, so if we win on Sunday against the Caners it will officially be our best season opening. 

DFWTMG 

Statto’s report