A Match for the Ages 

On a day as hot as Biff’s temper, The Mighty Greys took on Chipstead Coulsdon & Walcountians CC (CCWCC) in a match that will be remembered for its ferocity, flair, and a few fielding mishaps. 

On this day Adam, aka “The Honey Badger,” launched an all-out assault on the field. It’s a wonder the ball wasn’t asking for mercy after each encounter. His opening knock, set the tone for what was to come. We can only hope his predator instinct soon carries over to his batting, but for now, his fielding ferocity will do just fine. 

Biff was in vintage form, channelling Robin Smith with a cut shot that was nothing short of a masterpiece. He knocked a superb 50, all while having a “Biff Tiff” (patent pending) every other ball he faced. Such was his masochistic rage that at one point, he resorted to fielding with parts of his anatomy better left out of the cricketing equation. But hey, a 50’s a 50. 

Then there was Tim—Mr. Reliable, as dependable as Japanese infrastructure. Tim delivered once again with a resolute 25 off as many balls, laying the foundation for the high-octane portion of the Greys’ innings. His bowling was a masterclass in handling a ball as slippery as a bar of soap, proving that consistency is indeed key. 

Rob M., however, was the day’s showstopper. He hit a backfoot six so audacious that it left the crowd gasping. He proudly declared himself a “fast bowler” to anyone within earshot, before proceeding to bowl the tightest spell of off-spin seen all day. It was a performance that left everyone, including Rob, slightly confused but thoroughly entertained. 

Dom had us all on the edge of our seats with the promise of the fastest 50 in Greys history—until he didn’t. But let’s not forget his brilliant catch, which was more than enough to earn him a pint after the game. 

Alex, unfortunately, fell victim to one of CCWCC’s rare, good deliveries. But he gets points for innovation, polishing the ball with a bucket hat in a manner not yet seen on the village circuit. Perhaps a new trend is on the horizon? 

Ben, meanwhile, was cruelly robbed of a run by some questionable umpiring. Yet he bowled to his field with precision, delivering 5 out of 6 balls into the safe (if occasionally pained) hands of the only man behind square on the leg side. 

Dan, with hair as long as Rob M.’s six, bowled as though he had a barber hot on his heels. On the warmest day of the year, he led the attack with a fiery performance that had even the 12-year-olds backing away. Not that we blame them—Dan was downright terrifying. 

Terry, ever the stylish cricketer, arrived at the ground in a black blazer under the blazing sun, grunting louder than Serena Williams on Centre Court with every boundary conceded from his bowling. His frustration was understandable, given the heckles about his vigour—though he gave as good as he got. 

Rob H., the more aggressively surnamed of the two Robs, lived up to his billing with an opening spell that was nothing short of fierce. His best ball of the day took the top of the opener’s off-stump, sending the bails flying. However, when faced with a fully grown batsman and back-to-back boundaries, Rob sensibly decided to let others take a turn at with the ball. 

And then there was Tom. Tom played quite well. 

All in all, it was a glorious day for The Mighty Greys. With a series of superb individual performances, we saw off CCWCC in style. The Mighty Greys coming out on top once again. 

• The PSM moment was Tom’s 4 to bring up his 50. He said it seemed to be a bit too braggy to include in his own written match