Easter Sunday 

Quick Read 

Batting first on a green pitch in a thirty over game, TMGs started the new season with their long-standing opening pair of Line and Brasher, though this didn’t last for long when Jerry holed out to mid off for 5.  Biff carried on with Dom until he tried to uppercut a rising ball at the bouncy end straight into gully’s hands. This brought new boy Ejaz Shaik to the wicket and between them Dom and Ejaz plundered the bowling until Dom was caught behind on 57. QB hit a nice drive up the hill until he left one that stayed came back. Joined by Alex, Ejaz kept smiting away until he was bowled on 57 from just 34 balls.   This brought out another new boy, Chris, who carried on smashing boundaries off the final overs as the Greys set Ram CC a challenging target of 197 to win.   

After a DIY tea, the Greys set about the Ram batting. After bashing Robbie H for 11 of the first over, new boy Chris then demolished the Ram top order, taking  4 for 10 off his 6 overs.  Not content with that, he then ran out one of them  from backward point with only a single stump to aim at.  Ram disarray continued, and the 197 total was now out of reach.  There were no fireworks from James Fitz as he went wicketless for 17  off his 6.   

Just as he did on the same pitch two years ago, veteran Shadow took a wicket with his first ball, took another well caught by Ejaz at mid off, and nearly took a c and b off a top edge. Alex, falling onto his dodgy hip, nevertheless managed to get the ball back in time to run out Mr Balaji, who had caught himself up in a classic Yes/No interlude. By now, the total was officially impossible as last man in Abhi started to hit out, and Mr Cass bravely defended a superb over from Ejaz – smooth run up, line, length and pace. Ram CC finished well short if the target, with TMGs winning by 88 runs.  DFWTMG.  

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Long Read 

Someone is walking towards me.  I can’t see them properly. They’re about thirty yards away –and it’s like they’re moving through mist – but I can see that they have long brown hair and they’re wearing white from top to bottom. Maybe a robe.  

“Is it Lord’s Day today?”, I can hear myself asking.  

“No, that’s not until July.  India.  Where’s my Easter Egg?” they ask as they approach. Maybe they’re running now. 

I don’t know what to say.  Better tell the truth.  

 “I’ve eaten it”, I replied.  “I thought you were dead, young man”.  

“How’s Popey?” I added.  “Is he still vulnerable?. Can he last out the day?” 

“He needs to get better at fending off Jayden Seales’ short ball.”, the man replied, getting closer and closer, pulling back their arm and tossing something towards me.  I can see it spinning in the air.  It looks like a ball of chocolate wrapped in silvery red paper.  I lunge forward to try and catch it and CRASH! 

Jesus Christ! Suddenly I’m awake and lying on the floor next to my bed.  What am I doing down here?  Must have had too much to dream AGAIN last night.  But who was that in my dream?  And what day is it today?   I look at the clock radio.  11.20 a.m.  It’s Easter Sunday, I’m playing cricket today and Jerry and Alex are coming to get me in…..ten minutes!  Yikes! 

Hurriedly I puledl some clothes on, rushed downstairs and retrieve my kit bag from where it’s been lying untouched in the shed all winter, just as their car pulls up. I only had time to finish off a glass of red wine and a pizza crust I found under the bed.  

Shall I tell them about my dream?  Maybe not just yet.   

Wearing my whites and standing on the balcony at St James’s, I looked out over the vast expanse of the ground. It’s big.  You could easily fit St Peter’s Square in here.  In the far corner I can see Ram CC congregating in the car park before starting their procession towards us.  They look like a handy bunch.   

Ben walks into the middle of the hallowed turf and performs a small ceremony with Ram’s captain, then turns to us and motions with his arm.  Is he blessing the pitch? No.  We’re batting.   

TMG started with the long-standing opening pair of Line and Brasher, which ended with the score on 11 when Jerry holed out to mid-off for 5.  They didn’t have time to cross so next man in Dom had to face the next delivery. Biff carried on with Dom until he tried to uppercut a rising ball at the bouncy end straight into gully’s hands and fell for 17. This brought new boy (and BHCC ringer) Ejaz Shaik to the wicket and between them Dom and Ejaz plundered the bowling until Dom was caught behind on 57. QB hit a nice drive up the hill until he left one that came back. Was it deliberate?  Had he sacrificed his wicket for a higher goal? Joined by local hipster Alex, Ejaz kept smiting away until he was bowled on 57 from just 34 balls, having nailed a delivery for six through midwicket.   This brought out Greys virgin Chris Foulerton to make his Greys debut.  With Ram bringing back their openers, would this be a baptism of fire for him? No.  

He kept on smashing boundaries off the final overs as the Greys set Ram CC a challenging target of 197 to win. Early on I thought we would be lucky to get to 150.  Should have had more faith.  

At tea, Alex had cleverly turned some water into Harveys, which we supped as we sat and broke bread together. Thoughfully, he  had also laid out numerous boxes of small, thin wafers wrapped in aluminium packets.  They wouldn’t have fed 5,000, but there were a lot of them, though the date on the packets was a bit fishy.   

Why are you called Ram? I asked one of the opposition.  “Rama” he replied.  Hindu god.  It’s everywhere today, I realised.   

From the car park area I saw a figure walking purposively towards us, full of grace, long brown hair flapping in the wind behind him.  Maybe it was a premonition after all.   

“Who are you?”, I asked. “I’m dying to know. Are you the man of my dreams”. 

“I’m Dan” he said, sounding puzzled.  

“Thanks”, I said.  “I was getting desperate, Dan”.  

Having communed together, the Greys set about the Ram batting.  After bashing Robbie H for 11 of the first over, new boy Chris then demolished the Ram top order, eventually taking 4 for 10 off his 6 overs, one of them a dubious LBW decision.   

“It was going down leg”, our Wicket Saviour Dom said, pontificating.  “But then no one’s infallible, not even Umpires”, he generously added.   

With only a single stump to aim at Chris then miraculously ran out Mr Drew from backward point.  Ram disarray continued, and the 197 total was now out of reach.  There were no fireworks from James Fitz as he went wicketless for 17 off his 6.   

Just as he did on the same pitch three years ago,  

TMGs vs Horley 17th April 2022 by Terry Burgess

veteran Shadow took a wicket with his first ball of the season, took another well caught by Ejaz at mid-off, and nearly took a c and b off a top edge.  My attempt nearly worked like a dream.   

By now, the total was officially impossible and Ram CC didn’t have a prayer, even though Alex had to limp off to Lourdes half way through.   

Last man in Abhi started to hit out, sending Jerry off retrieving on multiple occasions.  “These 30 overs are lasting an eternity”, he said as he threw the ball back yet again.  

Mr Cass bravely defended a superb over from Ejaz – smooth run up, line, length and pace. Ram CC finished well short of the target, with TMGs winning by 88 runs.   

After Ram CC had started their creep back to Crawley, Alex locked the Greysmen in the beautifully decorated pavilion.  It was time to deliberate and a chosen one would emerge from among us.   

With runs, wickets and a run out, it could only be one person, but he didn’t want to write about it.  “I’ll scribe it”, I said.  “But my scripture might not be the gospel truth”. 

Amen to that.   

Statto’s report

Aaand we’re off!!! Welcome back stats fans – a great opener with debutantes taking the plaudits. New boys Ejaz and Chris dominate the stats with strong supporting roles from Dom & Tel.
In the lifetimes not a lot to report – Dom is one decent knock away from 5,000 career runs.