Your chairman writes! by Terry Burgess

Your chairman writes!

The new season is upon us! Like the model Greysman that I am, I’ve spent many a challenging evening braving sub zero temperatures at Plumpton perfecting my range of offside shots.  At weekends and any other moment I can snatch I’ve been pursuing rigorous workouts: press ups, sit ups, circuits etc, and now that I’ve eliminated any trace of a grass stain from my whites, my mind, body and kitbag are in tip top condition. 

Once the first ball is bowled at Hartfield, the clock starts ticking on all the milestones and achievements that the Mighty Greys can accumulate.  These are the ones I’m looking forward to witnessing this year:

  1. Someone takes the batting trophy off Delbert, by which I mean scores more runs than him, not burgles it from house. They may need to score over 500 runs this season to do this.
  1. Dave Day shows his face long enough to gets his 300th career wicket and then gets 84 he needs for 4000 career runs, hopefully on the same day.
  1. We not only beat Twineham, we give them a good kicking.
  1. Alex gets his maiden century.
  1. Guy gets his too.
  1. Hatrick and QB get their maiden 50s.
  1. Someone takes the bowling trophy off Rob, our winner for the last three years. They will probably need to take thirty wickets to do this.
  1. The chubster plays more than one game. As we all know, if he gets his eye in with the bat, all kinds of Greys records are under threat, including the fastest 50 (currently 22 balls).
  1. Biff gets the 233 runs he needs for 6000 career runs
  1. We see Ibu back on the pitch again.
  1. Robbie gets the 13 wickets he needs for 300 career wickets.

11 Rikki gets the 12 wickets he needs for 100 career wickets.

12 We win more games than we lose.

  1. I score more than 250 runs, with at least one fifty.
  1. We close the season by winning 9 out of ten matches.
  1. We catch Mr Mitchell on the boundary at Balcombe early on his innings and then trounce them to end the season on a high
  • If eight out of 15 happen it will be a good year
  • If 10 out of 15 happen it will be a great year.
  • 12 out of 15 and I’ll buy all the beer at the AGM.
  • 15 out of 15 and I’ll host the AGM at an undisclosed venue in the Caribbean, with all the trimmings.

What are you looking forward to this season Greysmen?

6 responses to “Your chairman writes! by Terry Burgess

  1. Nice one Chairman Tel. Glad I was there to see you get those pesky off side shots out of you system.

  2. I’m looking forward to the Caribbean agm ; could I suggest Richard Branson’s island, I saw it on the telly the other day and it looked quite nice.
    Roll on Sunday and may the grey clouds stay away.

  3. I’m looking forward to my first midday pint on a Sunday, served with hilarity by the lovely Lisa and hearing Dave crack his first wicked joke out in the beer garden, and to saying hello to Ricky at the bar on the way to the loo where he responds with a giggle and a smile and naturally I then buy him a beer, and of course to that moment where we all get together around the table and laugh or guffaw or both, and drink awesome beer, and then finally when we head off and an hour of so later after about an hour of heart filling banter and deep laughter we hear the first cracking sound of leather on willow and the clapping of hands, not in the confines of an artificially lit plumpton hall, but out in the warm open Sussex air of the majestic Ashdown forest and then a couple of hours later the taste of tea and sangers and scones and cakes….bloody hell this is going to be great!

  4. It’s only $65000 a night for the whole island and that includes transfers from the nearest airport. I think with Robbie “what day is it ” Hoare as treasurer it could be possible by 2056 anyway.

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