Cricket by nature is largely adversarial. Across the day, two teams battling to win the game, and within that structure, a series of shorter 1-on-1 moments where individual batters and bowlers try to get the better of one another in a sequence of micro-duels. Great stuff all told.

Perhaps the finest moments the game dishes up though, appear to exist outside that realm. A place where there’s no space or time, where combat of any kind feels cheap and foolish. In those brief moments it appears the bowler and batter unite and agree to put aside their petty squabbles to create a fleeting, perishable work of art. Occasionally a batter will leave the perfect hooping inswinger to hit the off-bail, just to emphasise its beauty and make sure clips of it get posted on twitter. On occasion, bowlers will also accept the will of the world and bowl the ball at the perfect trajectory for the batter to lean forwards and caress it back over their head for 6.

But before I write 11,000 words on that lofted drive that won me PSM, let’s talk about the game. Hailsham’s Sunday team, it has to be noted, were lovely. The sharpley adversarial style that some of their Saturday players had become infamous for recently was not on show here at all and their out-ground at Hellingly was quite heavenly.

The Greys batted first with Adam and myself opening up. Initially I found myself in the role of (w)anchor as Adam flashed and dashed his way to a quick-fire 27. Some of his shots, especially a couple of front-foot drives, were definitely worth being celebrated, but from my notes I see he only received a nom for trying to field the ball with his face much later in the day.

Robor’s stay was brief as he was undone by the variations of a very promising young Hailsham spinner. That brought Del to the crease and a Delbumbo Hundo partnership was brought up reasonably quickly. The styles as ever…uh….let’s say ‘complimented’ each other. I swiped agriculturally across the line at anything loose and Delbert gracefully dispensed with pretty much anything – hitting one checked-drive through extra-cover that drew coos from human-onlookers and pigeons alike.

By the time he arrived at the crease, Jerry had already had quite the afternoon. A failed attempt to use an oversized traffic cone as a vuvuzela replacement and many failed attempts to help with lost-ball recovery (the cheeky Hailshammians repeatedly waiting for him to traverse the entire ground before declaring the ball found seconds before his arrival on the scene lol), were offset by the majesty of his…..uh….*checks notes*….tuna sandwich??

Anyway, he did really well until he decided he’d had enough and just wandered down the wicket, watching the ball pass him on his way, and was stumped. Not a classical stumping, as Jerry was probably about two-thirds of the way to the pavilion before the bails were taken but a stumping nevertheless.

Young Ben played a great attacking cameo at the end (including a wonderful back-foot drive), which kick-started a dream Greys debut for him. Imagine, getting to witness an Ashton century in your very first game! Dreams do come true, kids. He would go on to claim two scalps in the second innings as well and is still young enough to run! He’s welcome back anytime.

As the laws, and indeed the spirit, of the game dictate, we now had to bowl. This did somewhat frustratingly lengthen the game on quite a sweaty day, but it’s important everyone gets to do something. If any of you have any unused superlatives to describe the skill and masculine beauty of our opening pair then please let me know as I’ve run out. I sometimes think that when the double D’s are bowling, all the out-fielders could just sit down and watch the ball repeatedly fly past the bat into the wicket-keepers gloves. Both yet again recorded miserly figures and set the tone for the rest of the afternoon.

Del took an absolute wonder-catch – scrambling like a lightning fast monkey across the turf to pouch a top-edge an inch off the floor – to help Robbie claim one of his two wickets. Robbie would claim a worldy of his own (off the bowling of uh…..someone else) – back-peddling to snaffle one above his head before completing a sexy backward roll for the cameras. Old Good Quiet Ben wouldn’t have a quiet afternoon either, with 3 poles to his name including a clean bowled from a wily leg-spin delivery. Terry also claimed a victim in another fine spell of tweakers. Maybe this was the one Ben caught? Who knows – I’ve left writing this report too long after the game to have a clear memory and to be perfectly honest, if I’m not directly involved in events I kind of glaze over. I was probably still thinking about my 6. God it was good. You should have seen it, Wig.

Greys win. Don’t fuck.