CCWCC 207-6, 35 overs

TMG 143-9, 35 overs

CCWCC win by 64 runs

“Yes”, “No”, Yes, come on”, “Two there…Ricky? Ricky!”

The game was long gone but the show was far from over. Terry and Ricky were determined to go down fighting.

Tel’s nudge to square leg prompted the initial call before sharp fielding triggered a hasty retreat. Limbs.

But wait; an attempted direct hit spared the chairman, as did another ambitious shy at the bowler’s end. Overthrows, thought Terry as he turned sharply. And there might well have been had Ricky turned at all.

No matter, the Greys’ final pair had turned a mid-wicket mix up into a piece of performance art (working title: Ambling Chaos). A small victory of sorts and a fitting end to a fine, if ultimately frustrating, day.

A day that at one point was in danger of not happening at all. Ben had just eight names on his team sheet on Friday before Alex heroically volunteered to return from Birmingham for the day to ensure the fixture was fulfilled (GOTY 2025 nailed on).

No need, the skipper’s equally heroic efforts meant we were 11 and Alex stayed put (absolute disgrace. GOTY nom withdrawn).

As it turned out, our destination was actually nearer Birmingham than Brighton as we penetrated the M25 heading for the marvellous Chipstead Coulsdon and Waltounians CC.

The new-look line-up introduced themselves, including debutant D’Oli. Once a youthful prospect but not having played for over three decades, D’Oli admitted he’d managed just one hour of sleep after a vigorous Saturday night out. Recruitment criteria met.

Unfortunately young people these days don’t know how to have a good time and a youthful CCWCC side gave the impression they had all been in bed long before midnight after electing to bat first.

Ashu worked up an impressive pace and Chris was characteristically on the spot but the first wicket didn’t fall until the introduction of Dom and his Jack Simmons-like off-spin.

For those that don’t recall cricket’s golden age, Flat Jack was a key member of the all-conquering Lancashire team of the early seventies that is widely regarded as the greatest side – club or country – ever assembled.

In a better world he would have been selected to represent his country in two disciplines; competitive eating – his appetite led to his local chippy serving a “Simmo Special”, an elegant dish comprising steak pudding, chips, peas and gravy with a large fish lobbed on top – and cricket, yet was criminally overlooked for both.

Still, he was a master of one-day bowling and Dom chanelled the Red Rose legend to make the breakthrough.

The CWCC opener was hitting his stride and had struck 44 of his side’s 56 runs when he edged Bumbo’s second delivery. Unfortunately for him, an unlikely combination of luck, youthful athleticism and a lack of balance led to Winrow snaring the chance (PSM).

Stunned, the batsman lingered, wondering how his afternoon had been ended by someone who would now struggle to get up. He wasn’t the only one.

Dom took another couple of wickets (LBW and bowled) to shift the balance of the game before EO completely befuddled a CWCC batsman by bowling a banana. An actual banana.

Another bit of Sewell wizardry led to Ben taking a well-deserved first catch behind the stumps before Disco came to the party (not for the first time that weekend) assisted by a stunning catch on the run by Dom that should have been PSM.

The target was a gettable 208 but the reply never really got going.

Biff held his own to provide a platform with a battling 25 but Winrow flopped while Dev deserves props for heading out despite a bout of dizziness.

For a while Dom looked as though he was ready to match his previous week’s heroics (90* at Withyham) before holing out. His dismissal paved the way for Ben to come in and play some lovely shots – a perfectly-timed off dive up the hill was arguably the best of an impressive bunch – in a fine 31 that held the innings together.

Ashu and Chris chipped in – Ashu smashing a ferocious boundary and Chris serving up a sweet cover drive – but the CWCC total was always going to remain out of reach.

Still, a cracking day, if an off-kilter performance. Not unlike the post-match team photo. As someone (sorry, can’t remember who) said…..Don’t Fuck With The Mighty Chairs.

Statto’s holiday stats…
Brought to this week from a fecking mahoosive boat somewhere of the coast of Portugal. But enough about me and my adventures…lets talk stats. This week it’s all about the batting as the 2 main contenders grease themselves up and wrestle for pre-eminence, Dom just about has the upper hand but only by 2 runs. In the bowling Chris’ wicket drought continues allowing EO to reel him in to just a 3 wicket lead.
In the lifetimes I got nothing…
This Sunday TMG’s have Headliners, I have Rome if anyone’s interested…