TMGS Vs Horley – 22nd April 2018 by Jon Kendall

A day of firsts and from what I’ve been told, not firsts.

My first match for TMGS,

My first catch for TMGS, (no this report will not be in rhyming couplets)

My first wicket for TMGS, giving me my first Party Seven Moment.

And not the first time Duncan has arrived late, looking like he’ll vomit at any second.

But almost definitely the first time the sun has shone on a Sunday, in April, since cricket, and records began.

Anyway, here we go.

The sun was out, the roads were closed, Biff couldn’t open a window, and Alan regaled a story about punching a kid who ended up in hospital, and having to go to the police station we had just driven past. I should point out that this was when Al was also a kid and not recently!

First game of the season, and first Toss lost, 1 for 1!

We’re batting.

The Sun maybe out but the pitch is pretty damp and down as ‘Sponge Bob’ in the scorebook.

Biff and Rick stroll out to the middle, and after a half tracker first ball loosener, their openers bowl exceptionally accurately and keep it incredibly tight. So much so that when Rick strolls back after playing too early and getting bowled in the 4th over, we have amassed a total of 4 singles.  Jerry joins Biff and the bowling continues to be tight. Biff unluckily edges one into his leg and has no idea the ball trickles back with just enough weight to disturb the bail, and leaves the pitch to a “ah, fuck!”

A quarter of the innings gone and we are 14/2, not looking great, but still time…

Alan comes to the crease, and runs continue to be hard to come by. Jerry is bowled, and in comes Alex. Alex turns around and goes back to the club house.

The score is now 21/4 off 14.

Now this is where it gets interesting with the broken, food poisoned and suffering Duncan adding some aggressive shot playing, desperately trying to get some runs before the runs hit. Alan moves up a gear too unfurling a glorious flick down the leg side and a lovely lofted cover drive. On comes the leg spinner who is duly dispatched back over his head by Duncan, who gets a bit light headed with the effort and just about manages to stay on his feet. The runs keep flowing and the pair put on a cracking partnership of 53 off 10 overs, before Dunc is bowled and can go get a sit down and some water.

Dom’s up next but doesn’t last long before being given LBW. Zak steps up and hits some fine shots, but unfortunately Alan falls 5 short of his fifty, being caught behind off a leg glance. Terry leaves a few before a lovely pull for four, and follows it with a few more leaves, before skying one and completely forgetting to cross. Jon is in for his debut innings, and plays and misses a few times before scrambling a one to get off the dreaded debut duck. His running with Zak is pretty poor, and would have been run out twice, but for some shocking throws! Zak continues to crunch some boundries before being clean bowled on the return of the opener.

Ben is in with Jon for the last 4 overs, and the score stumbles along, before Jon manages to hit 12 off the final over, with a well timed miss-field gifting two off the final ball and taking the total to 130.

Would it be enough? No.

There were cheese sandwiches in the tea selection, which after reading some previous match reports seems a vital piece of information.

Horley knocked off the runs in 22 overs for the loss of just two wickets, but there were a few moments to highlight.

-Terry’s stop at gully

-Alex’s great attempt at a diving catch at backward point(ish)

-Ben’s stop at cover

-Rick getting hit on the knee

-Biff getting cracked in the shin

-Jon moving the ball away and Alan taking the catch behind the stumps to remove the opener (PSM and hence me writing this lovely report)

-and Terry setting up their number 2 with three 4 balls, and then getting a big top edge which hung forever in the air before Jon didn’t drop it. (phew)

The post match pint, standing in the sun wearing shorts, in April at 7pm basically sums up a great first game of the season despite the loss. Thanks all for a goods days cricket, and for nominating me to write my masterpiece. My memoirs one day will be written solely with the use of bullet points, so was just getting some practice at the end there!

Hopefully I can break back into the team in a few weeks, for another sunny Sunday.

See you in the pub soon!



9 responses to “TMGS Vs Horley – 22nd April 2018 by Jon Kendall

  1. Well done Jon, excellent debut and debut match report. Think it might be thr first one written in the historic present, too. Is that a picture of Dunc being sick into the score box? Great summary of my innings and mentioning of cheese, too

  2. The depth of research to find “the eternal cheese question ” is above and beyond what is expected of any Greys debutant ; Excellent stuff.

  3. Doing a bit of research for AGM. Have no recollection whatever of reading this in May. Not sure about the video helmet business. Although it is incredible. Well Done getting through that many overs at the end.

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