Due to the increase in professionalism of match reports I would like to return us to the heady days of crap, ungrammatical badly spolt affairs with the added bonus of a word search of other teams we play ” hidden ” in the report …….seconds of fun and prizes too. . . . . . .

After leaving rather early we arrived at the lovely Arundel ground still traumatised from hearing Tony Blackburn utter the immortal line “and that was Tony Bennett and Lady GaGa ” It was duly noted that the bar was open, the wicket was hard and the outfield fast, obviously in that order.

The toss won TMG’s openers Jerry and Biff strode to the middle and soon set upon the Arundel opening pair with the fast outfield aiding the impressive run rate. Biff played one particular delightful cover drive and Jerry used his feet well scoring in all directions. Jerry is known as one of TMG’s best cutters ; choice of shots is not always so good, this week however he was streat s ahead of his dire batting of the previous week.

After Biff slapped a full toss into midwickets hands Del fresh from his stroll up Firle Beacon kept Jerry company as the runs piled on at a decent rate. With jerry on 76 a shimmy down the wicket and a drive down the ground “A run, Del ” he cried and with the 22 yards covered he became the first Greysman to pass 6000 career runs. A truly uninteresting event if the reaction of the crowd was anything to go by (“crushed by the general indifference ” ×TM I.Sewell, springs to mind)

Del went LBW bringing Rob the Taxi to the crease who saw Jerry through to his ton before he danced down the wicket once to often and was caught by the keeper off a skier (101 scored out of a total of 140; well played, sir!)

Wickets then fell at regular intervals with the tail never fully wagging against some good bowling, the stand out being a sumptuous cover drive by hat-rick for 4 . With the sun shining the teams trooped off with the score on 171 deservingly for rest. Row upon row of sarnies, pizza and cake greeted us in the pavillion. . . .nice.

In reply Alan and Rob bowled well but with anything loose being punished Arundel were always head of the rate.Alan struck back however getting their big hitter to push one to Rob the T at midwicket and then knocking off stump out of the ground and off cartwheeling towards Ford.

Rob then got in on the act taking 2 in 2 balls,  the hat trick ball was however smashed so hard to the long off boundary it should have come with a health warning. Lid on Alex (behind the stumps for a tired/lazy Jerry)  stood up in an effort to stop the batsmen giving the bowlers the charge but the runs kept coming and from 47-4 Barry  showing a good eye started hitting the ball further and further with big sixes coming off both Rich and Ben.

Terry (still a bit wet of eye from seeing two Lancaster bombers fly over the ground “those were the days etc,  you could smoke in the pub etc,)  was brought on to break the partnership which he did with a few “eehs “,”ahs ” and “awayhas” along the way. A raucous LBW appeal convinced the young umpire (Rich looked on approvingly)  and then a fearsome delivery accounted for the dangerous Barry for 67.

It was too little too late as Arundel ran out easy winners by 4 wickets but with 15 overs to spare which is a better indicator of the margin of victory.

Did you spot them?  Do you care?  Do I care?  Does anyone care?  Well there’s prizes.  . .big prizes. . . .

Did you spot. . . .

5 Teams : Ask Rob if the new plush club funds stretch to a pint for your endeavour.

*warning bruises can come up as well as down *

4 Teams Buy Jerry a pint (Best)

3 Teams Buy Jerry a pint (Olympia)

2 Teams Buy Jerry a pint (South Downs)

1 Team Buy Jerry a Pi t (Star of Eastbourne)

0 Buy Alex a Tuaca in lieu of a pint after 10:15 ( red mist guaranteed)