TMGs vs Poynings 6th September 2015, by Biff Line

As if we didn’t have enough problems already the Greys arrived at Poynings a man down . Only to find they had 10 too !

The pitch was a stodger after all the rain but we batted anyway and as Ben had predicted it did get worse .Our first 3 wickets went down for 3 runs , however the Greys bat all the way down and we ended up getting 156. This was achieved by Alex , Zac and Ben all getting late 20s , Alan and Rich getting nearly 20 each , and aided by some generous bowling changes from home skipper Mike Prodger . The one appeal to the TMO did not go our way but as Partridge had been cleaned bowled we couldn’t complain. The urn was broken so tea was delayed but it was excellent and a tenner cheaper than Hammerwood. The ball was a bit muddy and dull but they gave us a new one !

As the reader will have gathered by now it was an up and down day ,or rather a down and up day , a day when the silver lining could always be seen around the clouds.tmgs-vs-poynings-sep2015-pano2

The Greys bourgeoning injury list was topped up with injury list skipper and ever present Rob (bicep) , Richard “Stretch” Partridge (calf) and Zac (thigh). Rob was throwing in from the boundary underarm left handed . Rich was at least able to get to the other end and was smiling through the pain . Zac , though he had to rein in his much admired fence vaulting display , was able to cover the ground really fast despite running on one leg and walking on the other.

Jenner and Taylor (with a half century) took Poynings to 99 despite some good bowling from Rob , Alan , Ibrahim and Del. It didn’t look good for the Greys but hang on . 99? They’ve got 99? We’ve got Ben and Jerry !

What followed was one of the most amazing two pronged bowling attack spells it has been my privilege to witness . Chunky Ben from the ditch end with his now even pacier inswingers and Monkey Jerry from the village end purveying off spin (who knew?) at a pace that put some in mind of the greatest bowler of all time , Kent and England legend Derek Underwood .


Jerry bowled their skip with a beauty then reacted to dropping a hard caught and bowled by inducing the batsman to give him an easier one next ball ! Ben bowled their well set batsmen and two more before claiming his Michelle thanks to a fine running catch in the deep by Biff (bagging PSM ) .This gave him the joint second best figures in the Greys record books , 5 for 2 and meant that 4 of his 5 overs were wicket maidens ! Jerry then claimed the last wicket caught behind by Alex to scenes of general delirium .


9 overs , 8 wickets , 7 runs . 9 OVERS , 8 WICKETS , 7 RUNS . DEVASTATINGLY  DFWTMG !


The Chairman was unavailable with a bad back and steam coming out of his ears BUT  unknown to us all an eminence argent dans un Prius argent saw it all from the car park !


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13 responses to “TMGs vs Poynings 6th September 2015, by Biff Line

  1. There was a young man called Prodger
    Who asked us to bat on a stodger
    Our eminence grise
    Was hid in the trees
    Probably holding his todger

  2. I had to look up what ‘grise’ meant…were you REALLY there?? I’ve now added lots of pictures to this post…some good’uns in there!

  3. Ever had the feeling you’re being watched? Stalking Terry, as he was once known. Fantastic Limerick, full of evocative images, and great report skip. Notably lacking in sarcasm and vitriol, I thought.

  4. Great report but I must agree with Alex in that it sadly lacks both sarcasm and vitriol ; if you need any help or hints……….

  5. although I have played very few games ( but more than the last 2 seasons at least ) you do appear to have dominated the PSM’s this season skip.
    Great work on and off the field…………….. Line out

  6. PS…
    There were 2 glaring omissions from PSM noms for this game, both for Jerry.

    The first was when Jerry attempted intimidation of the opposition 3 balls into his bowling spell with a threat of an aggressive pick up and throw to a gentle defensive push.

    The second was mentioned in the match report but mysteriously forgotten at nom time – Jerry’s practice caught and bowled.

  7. Surely there was also a third one Ben – getting caught at slip for the 200th time – a fault he’s never corrected in 25 years for the Greys – following 13 dot balls for a total of 0 runs. The batting moral high ground is all yours, Jerry. At least you didn’t swish across the line off a straight one. All good natured banter, of course. Viva schadenfreude!

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