TMGs vs Poynings 4th September 2016: Never a Cross Word by BOTH Terry Burgess and Alex Fenton!

Never a Cross Word…

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1 & 23   Terry saw them in Swansea in 1977, about article I removed from Renaissance painter’s, “Collision between Alex and Terry”. Dreadful 1981 film with Ray Harryhousen animation. (5,2,3,6)

4   Alan, minus 39. (4)

7   Zac does this over fences without a pole? No, not dance….or plumbing (5)

8   And then robots? Still a late delivery (7)

12   Disputed single? I see a run out (3,3,2)

13   I could have fielded that perfectly well myself, thank you.   Lewes?! (3)

15   Luppitt’s is usually the best, Ian usually eats the most of it. What state school educated people call dinner. (3)

16   A low rate of interest (3) 

17 What the Greys definitely never need. Oh, except if Rob pulls a shoulder hammy, or Dom gets a hammy shoulder. Nuclear bread roll vehicle? (3)

18 No E? That’s messed up.

19 Follow around in a pestery sort of way (see 2d). These come in all shapes and sizes, but if you’ve got a small yappy variety of one, it’s like Terry…. only more so. (3)

20  Sponge Bob’s pants? Richie P’s head? (6)

23 See 1 a

24/25 Pink Floyd were comfortably this, and Dom allegedly has a big one (and it’s not “ars” because I know arse has 4 letters) What you can get waiting for Del to be out (4,3)

27 Says “man” a lot. Genetically part Maris Piper. (3)

28 What Terry looked like in that panorama picture? Album by REM. Mash! (7)

30 What kids say now instead of nutmeg, with endless girl’s plaything. Branded pain relief with paracetamol  (7)

31 Is he one of these of his former self? (Very) solid left-hander.  Confused? how sad.

32   Frottaged on D-Day. Thoroughly beaten (7) 


1 Sheltered bay, run!   Where Jerry dives over the ball. (5)

2 Three wickets in a row for Greys limping groupie stalker.  (8)

3. Necessary for tango (3)

5   Whole team or individual score? Plural, but singular. Almost as confusing a word as wicket. (7)

Live mix, always at the bar. Bit like 2d but without the limp and a laugh which should have a “Muwahh” in front of it (4)

8   Let’s just say, this clue would have been a lot more fun and easier if we’d been playing Fulking. (8)

9  Raw fish and seaweed! Is hush needed for this? (6)

10  27a Says this at the end of most sentences. Welsh prog rock band from the 1970s (3)

11 Subject of a song only Ben sings. Oliver will soon be able to tell a stinging nettle from other hedgerow plants. (5)

14 Spanish honey maker for George Bush Jr?  Plumb! (1,1,1)

18 What you’d have if you took the 7 from James Bond (2)

19 Confused nut, do healthy people have an allergy to one of these? Double D calls people this when they have been stupid (5)

20   I really can’t think of a clue for this one. No, it’s got me completely…..Hurried around midriff (7)

21   Something only fictional Cockneys call the pub. Or maybe in isolated parts of Kent. Johnny in a reggae style? (3-1-3)

22   Sticks in the ground. 3 parts of a simple jigsaw puzzle for Australians, with 5 pieces altogether (6)

24   Are we going to Necker Island? (2)

26   Presents Bake Off. Not Sue.  Producers producer(3)

27   Drink Canada?  I’ll have a go! (3)

28   What you are when we don’t have a game? No, it’s not pissed by 4pm (3)


With three more games to go, the Greys met in the Constant without their favourite 8 across, unable to get a place in the team.

Thankfully, the weather was 27 down.

For their first miserable experience of the day, Alex and Terry travelled in Eo’s car, but still arrived before 13 across’s car, as no-one in it knew how to find the way to 8 down.  Did we get any sense out of our driver? Well, 12 across!      

By common consent, the Greys batted first, with Biff and Delbert opening, but neither lasted long, Biff uncharacteristically out 14 down.  When Delbert gloved one it brought Alex and the 31 across to the crease.

Despite having batted together for over twenty years, when Alex called 18 across  they somehow managed a full-on gridiron style collision in the middle, locking helmets, bats and everything else. It was truly a 1 across and 23 across (5,2,3,6).

18 down! they cried in unison, with Alex later needing a couple of 30 across.

Neither lasted much longer, though Alex hit a classically timed boundary through backward 20 across before he was bowled.

Both 13 and 27 across flared brightly, the former hitting a sumptuous straight drive for four. The tail also wagged, QB stroking his first ball through 1 down and Alan and Ibu smashed few, but the Greys committed the cardinal sin (like they did at Streat) of not batting out their overs.  The frequent fall of wickets meant that no-one had time to get a 24 and 25 across

Nevertheless, 183 from 32 overs should have been enough.  But was it? 24 down

15 across was a 17 across Luppitt affair, with all of your favourites present, but sometimes you just hanker for a 19 down. Or even a bit of 9 down.

Thus fortified, we took to the field for the 5 down of 8 down, featuring the novel sight of Delbert behind the 22 down.

Alan and Ben started well as ever, Alan getting 3 down, one a skier carefully caught by 13 across, the other a screamer taken by 31 across to get rid of their most threatening batsmen.  After ten or so overs it was clear that 5 down were going for the target, with a flurry of 28 across sixes clearing the fence and the marshland beyond it.  Everyone marvelled at 13 across’s ability to 7 across the fence nonchalantly as if it wasn’t there.

It was time for 11 down to slow down the run rate and break up some partnerships. In seven accurate overs, wickets fell steadily, including a sharp 20 down from Delbert.  Ibu should have had 4 across, and surely would have done if he hadn’t run out of overs and had to settle for one less instead.

But at the other end runs kept flowing and the opposition kept smacking at least a boundary an over with a couple of quick singles. With the light failing and autumnal dew settling, a few people turned up to watch the denouement, not the usual  19 down and his 19 across.

The fall of wickets couldn’t stop the flow of runs and our target was reached with three overs to spare. We left the field having been thoroughly 32 across, which got worse when we went to the local 21 down and got robbed at the bar, before we were robbed by Rob, who took match fees off us, no doubt so he could shove them in his 16 across.

All of this left us feeling as 29 down as Sideshow 26 down so we went to the Constant where we found 2 down and 6 down, the Harveys was on tap, Terry’s fave barmaid behind the bar*, Ska thumping through the sound system and everything felt better again, except possibly Alex’s neck.

*After Holly, of course.




6 responses to “TMGs vs Poynings 4th September 2016: Never a Cross Word by BOTH Terry Burgess and Alex Fenton!

  1. I’m sure there are two reasons why there have been no comments yet…a) because the comments mostly come from Alex and Terry anyway…and b) because the rest of us are still trying to figure out the answers to this bloody awesome crossword…it might take a while…

    can we gain credits (on Terry’s hit list) if a few of us get the answers by pub time on Sunday? perhaps for every completed crossword, we reduce the required total by one?

  2. and I can’t believe we didn’t get a combined PSM trophy picture with the two champions under the mighty PSM can…get your creative thinking caps on for an impressive photographic showpiece (perhaps a long range shot by chiefy from the loft of that black house opposite the pub?) …remind me Sunday!

  3. oh, and bloody fantastic by the way…the only way that could be improved would be if it turned up on the middle pages of Tim’s copy of The Times in the morning, and if Henry Blofeld was laughing about it with Tuffers on the next TMS (whenever that may be)…

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