TMG’s win by 60 runs 

With Autumnal greyness closing in, ten heroic Greysmen achieved a famous, first-ever victory against the pleasant, sociable and usually superior cricketers of Littlehampton. 

This joyous occasion, was celebrated by the happy comrades through the traditional PSM ceremony, a post-match opportunity to reprise 70 overs of ebbing and flowing fortunes. A century was made, a fifty was made, a record opening partnership was made, the opposition top order was prised out and someone carried their bat through the whole innings! Yet, these incredible feats were overlooked in favour of something more instantaneous and visual, as is often the case. 

I am really pleased to record that PSM was awarded to yours truly for a sharp but unremarkable stop, stop not catch, at Point. Admittedly the ball streaked across the dry and broken square like a rifle shot but, with total economy of movement, I moved my cupped hands a cm or two to the left to cleanly field and then return the ball to the keeper.  

How must have in-form poster boy, ‘Toodle’ Laing, have felt?? After an unbeaten 142, 23 fours, 1 six, followed by 4 top-order wickets to throttle the Littlehampton run-chase – what recognition did he receive? We tried; there were mentions – a cover drive, a paddle sweep and a one-bounce four to wide mid-off! Somebody nominated Toodle’s first wicket-delivery which took the top of off stump. His committed fielding on the boundary was also commended. Toodle could only stare at the glazed, dirty steps of the pavilion as the grotesque parody unfolded and his all-round, match-winning performance split it own votes into smithereens. Such is the eccentricity of the PSM. 

Then there was Graham! Drafted in to fill the ranks. His good friend, Ben, captain of The Greys had, no doubt, told Graham that his team were ‘a good bunch’, and they duly nominated his superb diving stop in the covers and his excellent, dipping delivery which was mis-hit to mid-on, without then voting for them. Strangely, Graham was only trusted to bowl when it was pointed out to Ben that the run rate required by Littlehampton was, at that stage, over 25 per over.  

And let’s not forget about dear old Biff. Our much-loved, battle-scarred veteran with failing eyesight and dwindling footwork. When will he ever see another day like this? Already ensconced as the top scorer of the season, he is now installed in the Pantheon of Greys’ Greatness as part of the all-time opening stand of 214. A single nomination for a ‘paddle round the corner’ is all that history will record of the old man’s triumphant day. 

Even team loose cannon, angry Ashton, wasn’t spared the vagaries of PSM. 

His season-long match-winning exploits were forgotten. He was nominated for blaming the wind for his poor fielding.There was wind and to blame it for your dismissal and a dropped catch is not unreasonable! Having said that, we could all see the ball bobbling at St. James, the week before, but we still weren’t sure why six times he failed to get any part of his body in the way. 

Duncan deserved all the spiteful abuse he got. 

Elsie received a heartfelt nomination for his clean-bowling of the free-scoring number 2, which started the arrest of Littlehampton’s blistering start.  

That leaves just the senior duo, Dave and Alex, missing from proceedings. Dave bowled with his usual pace and power and his miserly seven overs for 30 came at a crucial phase of the game when LA were running away with it. 

Alex’s agenda is so convoluted and Machiavellian that he did the scorebook and had little involvement in the actual game. 

Well, the season will be over before you read this and we will all have returned to our own little worlds , only to return more calm, benevolent and clear-eyed in 2027. 

Statto’s report
The Mighty Greys are back to winning ways and the records are tumbling. Well done Biff (82) and Tim (142*) who achieved the highest partnership of the season (214) and the highest ever for the 1st wicket. Tim also scored the highest individual score of the season and his best ever for the Greys. What has this done to the tables? Well, with the aforementioned batters monopolising the scoring Biff pulls away from Dom, and Tim’s second successive ton pushes him, above Dom, up to 2nd and only 14 behind. In the bowling Elsie edges away from DD. It now looks like a 2 horse race in all 3 tables; with the skipper eyeing the Norfolk Enchants trophy he’ll have to be creative with his field placements…
Next week it’s a local derby, Brighton & Hove Crescent at Horsdean, so bring the family…