The Final Chapter: One Last Roll of the Dice

And so, after a season of questionable shot selection, even more questionable fielding, and enough discussion over run rates to fill several scorebooks, TMG arrived at the final match of the 2026 season.

And this one actually mattered.

With the Batting , Bowling and Catches Trophy all still up for grabs, there was plenty to play for. It also saw the return of Tommy Schnicolls to the side and, following what can only be described as a late call up of questionable legitimacy, I was somehow back in the team too.

Whether selection was based on merit, availability or bribery remains a matter for the independent commission.

The Batting:

The Greys were put into bat on a tough batting wicket and a painfully slow outfield, where boundaries were at a premium and every run had to be earned.

With that in mind, 128 looked like a very respectable total. It wasn’t the sort of pitch where you could simply swing through the line and expect the ball to disappear timing was difficult, the outfield wasn’t helping, and the conditions made building an innings particularly important.

Fortunately, Tommy Nicholls had apparently decided that none of this applied to him.

Returning to the side for the final game, Tommy produced a superb 68, including the big six that inevitably made its way onto the PSM shortlist. His return was particularly timely given the batting trophy was still up for grabs. Coming into the game, Tommy had amassed 486 runs at an average of 92.33, including four fifties and a Ton.

The innings was also littered with some excellent individual moments all very singular as evident by everyones time at the crease being shortlived.

By the end, the scoreboard read 128.

On a better batting wicket, perhaps that number wouldn’t have raised many eyebrows. On this one, with a slow outfield and difficult batting conditions, 128 felt like something we could genuinely defend.

The Bowling:

With the Bowling Trophy also hanging in the balance, the pressure was firmly on.

Coming into the match, DOUBLE D and I were locked together on 28 wickets for the season.

DD did his bit with two wickets, while Bumbo also picked up two.

Then came another potentially crucial moment in the race for the bowling trophy.

Tommy dropped Louis.

Not metaphorically. Not emotionally. Literally.

quote from DD:

“Tom my bestie.”

Friendship really is beautiful.

The Fielding

The Catches Trophy was equally spicy.

Coming into the final game, Tommy Schnicks led the 2026 catches standings with nine, followed by Ben on eight and yours truly on seven.

So naturally, the final match delivered absolute chaos.

Louis produced the PSM-winning catch at slip, immediately putting himself firmly into the catches conversation.

He then followed it up with a failed attempt at a diving catch, which somehow became a PSM nomination of its own and, according to the nominations, was enough to split the vote.

Elsewhere, Adam’s caught & bowled made the shortlist, while the Biff incident from earlier in the innings provided another memorable moment.

There was also the unforgettable sound of silence when Biff attempted a catch and Dom simply said “no chance.” a split second before dropping the catch.

And Alex contributed his usual plethora of faces, Norfolk enhanced, proving once again that fielding isn’t necessarily about the catch itself.

The PSM Nominations

The final game produced one of the more eclectic PSM shortlists of the season:

Sam — First extra cover drive

Louis — Catch at slip (PSM)

Louis — Failed attempt at a diving catch / vote splitter

Dave — Slower ball wicket

Tom — Big six

Robbie — “The cunt. Scum scum scum.” Double D

Alex — Plethora of faces, Norfolk enhanced

Adam — Caught & bowled

Louis — Cut for 2

Tom — His bestie for dropping Louis to take the lead in the wickets

Biff — Signalling out when the batter was not out

Biff — The catch attempt that received an immediate “no chance” from Dom

Tom — Back-foot half-volley for four

Dunc — Calling no and then running a single anyway

The 2026 Numbers

And, of course, kudos to Statto for compiling the 2026 season averages, providing us with the cold, hard numbers behind another season of Mighty Greys cricket.

Tommy finished the season with 554 runs at 92.33, while Biff led the run-scoring with 586 runs.

With the ball, DD and Louis both finished on 28 wickets, followed by Bumbo on 23.

And in the catches standings, Tommy finished top with nine, followed by Ben on eight and Louis on seven.

All of which means that the final match wasn’t just another fixture. There was genuine silverware on the line right until the end.

And That’s a Wrap

And with that, the 2026 Mighty Greys season came to an end.

A season of big runs, big wickets, questionable running, questionable selection decisions and an impressive number of moments that probably shouldn’t have made it into the official record.

The final match summed it up perfectly: 128 runs on the board, trophies on the line, Tommy back in the side, Louis somehow selected, and absolutely no shortage of drama.

A huge thank you to everyone who turned out, played, scored, umpired, supplied refreshments, dropped catches, argued about catches, claimed catches and most importantly made the 2026 season what it was.

And of course, kudos to Statto for compiling the 2026 averages, which have provided the definitive evidence that some of us are significantly better at cricket than we thought.

The final game, the season’s end,

With trophies still to win,

The Greys arrived, as Greys will do,

With chaos set to begin.

Tommy came back, a hero’s return,

And promptly smashed sixty-eight,

While Louis somehow made the side,

Despite arriving late.

One-twenty-eight was on the board,

The pitch was slow and grim,

But Tommy’s six gave PSM hope,

And boundaries came quite slim.

The wickets race was neck and neck,

With DD and Louis tied,

Then Tommy dropped Louis —

Friendship swiftly died.

The catches race was spicy too,

With Tommy leading the way,

But Louis took a belter at slip,

Then missed one the same day.

There were catches dropped, and faces pulled,

And “no chance” called before,

A slower ball, a caught and bowled,

And probably plenty more.

There were sixes, cuts and half-volleys,

And running that made no sense,

With every PSM nomination

Lacking consequence.

Then Statto brought the numbers out,

The cold and brutal truth:

Five hundred runs, and twenty-eight wickets,

And arguments in the booth.

And now the season’s finally done,

The scorebooks tucked away,

Big runs, big wickets, dropped catches —

And stories for another day.

So here’s to Greys of 2026,

To cricket, laughs and beer,

To everyone who turned up, played,

And made another year.

2026: done

Statto’s report

All great things must come to an end, and this has, in your humble scribe’s opinion, been a great season. Fantastic performances both personally and as a team, weather that was almost too good and a blend of old timers and newbies creating a great team which it is a pleasure to be a member of.
Statswise it all came down to the wire. A last minute reprieve meant Elsie got the chance to play and defend his lead in the bowling, but Tommy Nix’s best cymbals behind the stumps meant he finished wicketless; while DD took a brace in his opening spell to leave them tied at the top. In the batting Biff’s second ball duck opened the door for Dom or Tommy Nix. However, with Dom bagging a golden duck and Tommy failing to get a ton (but still top scoring with 68) both failed to catch the old warhorse. Tommy has the consolation of picking up the catching trophy. The majority of Tommy’s score was with Alex and they picked up the highest 6th wicket partnership of the season (67).
There’s nothing to report in the lifetimes, but a few things to look forward to next season: Biff should overtake The Shadow and become the most capped player; DD will play his 300th game, and you never know I might get my 400th wicket, stranger things have happened…
So that’s all folks see you at the AGM…and maybe nets…