The scorecard says 146. The pitch says otherwise.

The Mighty Greys welcomed Chipstead & Coulsdon CC for our latest home fixture, played on what can only be described as the first genuinely wet-ish ground we’ve encountered all season.

Having lost the toss, we were unsurprisingly sent out into the field. Probably a blessing in disguise, given that the pitch was already showing signs of having a mind entirely of its own.

Some stayed low.

Some took off like tennis balls.

Others appeared to be bowled on a completely different wicket altogether.

Basically, batting was less about technique and more about whether you’d correctly guessed what the pitch had decided to do that particular delivery.

Despite this, we initially came off feeling rather pleased with ourselves. Chipstead & Coulsdon finished on 146-4 from their 35 overs, and the general consensus was that we’d bowled pretty well.

Which we had.

But perhaps we gave ourselves slightly too much credit.

Because after having a go ourselves, it became increasingly clear that 146 on that wicket was absolutely not the same as 146 anywhere else.

On a normal track, 146 is a pleasant Saturday afternoon chase.

On this track, it was more like 240, possibly 300.

The bowling

Louis led the way with 3-19 from his seven overs, including a wicket that earned PSM for the simple yet increasingly rare art of hitting the top of off stump. (there wasn’t alot to celebrate)

Chris was economical as ever with 7overs 1 Maiden 15 Runs. while the rest of the attack did a solid job of keeping things under control.

Harry on his sunday debut, ended wicketless which is rather unjust for the level he bowled at. Having not 1 but 2 dropped catches, the only one of the bowlers to trouble the 2 left handers that would not budge. 

Overall, we were happy enough. Four wickets, 146 conceded and a chase that looked perfectly manageable.

This was our first mistake.

Fielding highlights*

*The word “highlights” is doing some heavy lifting here.

The PSM nominations from the innings provide a fairly accurate picture of proceedings:

• Louis hitting top of off – PSM.
• Biff’s fielding, which at times appeared to involve actively helping the opposition.
• Harry’s first wicket that wasn’t, thanks EO.
• Dunc offering Dom fielding advice, which is a bit like Boris Johnson offering lessons in honesty.
• Dom losing his patience after approximately his sixth misfield.
• Ben’s catch, briefly reminding everyone that we are, technically, a cricket team.
• Louis finding an edge around the batsman’s chops.
• Louis’ full length chaise lounge stop.
• Chris asking whether Biff was aware he needed to get on with it.
• Harry’s second DC chance, which should also have been a wicket.
• Alex’s one handed stop, showing off unnecessarily.
• Tim falling over, nominated by Dunc, naturally.
• Biff taking out the decoy stumps. 
• Dunc’s Keystone Cop routine, otherwise known as Bambi on Ice.
• And finally, Alex sorting the ale.

The chase

With 147 required, spirits were reasonably high.

That lasted until approximately the second ball.

Biff dug in for 36 from 84 balls, an innings that probably deserves more credit than the scorecard gives it. On another day, 36 from 84 might raise a few eyebrows.

On this wicket, it was practically Bazball.

Duncan contributed 25 from 67, while Tim’s 19 from 24 was one of the more fluent innings of the afternoon.

But as wickets fell and the required runs stubbornly remained, the reality of the pitch became increasingly apparent. Every batter had to contend with deliveries staying low, popping up unexpectedly and generally behaving like they had somewhere else to be.

And then…

It rained.

Halfway through our batting innings, the heavens opened.

Whether this affected the outcome, we’ll never truly know. Perhaps the moisture made an already unpredictable pitch even more difficult.

Perhaps the rain simply gave us another excuse.

Either way, the Mighty Greys are choosing to enter “weather interference” into the official list of mitigating circumstances.

No one can prove it cost us the game.

More importantly, no one can prove it didn’t.

Final thoughts

This was not our finest day in the field.

It was also not our finest day with the bat.

But in fairness, we were playing on a wicket where predicting the bounce appeared to require supernatural powers.

Looking back, our biggest mistake may have been thinking we’d restricted them to only 146.

We hadn’t.

We’d restricted them to what was, in reality, somewhere between 240 and a perfectly respectable test score.

Add in a mid-innings rain shower and plenty of unforced errors,  perhaps it simply wasn’t destined to be our day.

Still, there were positives.

Ben caught one.

Alex sorted the ale.

Onwards, Mighty Greys.

Statto’s report
The wheels have come off… game 21 resulted in the 6th lose this season and the second on the trot…
In the tables it’s all change at the top of the batting and bowling as Elsie goes back top of the bowling 3 clear of DD. Biff, who high scored yesterday (36), skips over Tommy Nix to take a slim lead in the batting. The catching is looking tight as well as QB goes to within one of T. Nix.
Nothing to report in the lifetimes.
Next week we renew hostilities with Cutters Choice don’t forget your knuckle dusters…