YES!, NO! WAIT! (SHIT!)

That a Greysman can bend over and do an unapologetically naked fart in a dressing room full of his disbelieving teammates after a game in which he has already squirreled away most of the left over match- tea egg sandwiches in his cricket helmet for safekeeping and still not win the PSM nomination shows that we are a team of connoisseurs who value genuine moments of cricketing quality more than comic or downright surreal moments. Even though these are far more frequent when playing for the TMGs than for your average Sunday team!

Alex’s failed attempt to drink a glass of orange squash while still wearing his cricket helmet (he had forgotten he was wearing it) and getting the glass caught in the grill, also unbelievably failed to gain a single vote at the post match PSM nominations. It is of some comfort to know that six hitting is still seen as an impressive ad worthwhile pursuit in the face of such comedy moments by Greysman.

The day had started with TMGs venturing into deepest darkest West Sussex to play against new opponents Watersfield CC on an overcast afternoon. Only 8 Greysman had arrived when the game started at an earlier kick-off time of 1pm. Ben lost the toss and we were asked to bat on what looked a decent track. Al and Roborbob opened the batting as Rick was stuck in traffic somewhere en route having been picked up late by Dunc, and Biff was off camping somewhere in France.

The opening bowlers bowled well early on making the most of the bowler friendly conditions and a wicket with variable bounce. The Greys openers dug in and made it to 23 before calamity struck. Al was run out after a mix up resulted in both batsman being at the same end leaving both batsman wondering what Law 38 has to say about that.[1] The run out sparked a middle order collapse as Rick, Zach, Duncan and Alex were dismissed in about 5 overs.  Dunk did manage a trademark clunk that gained a PSM nomination before he tried one cluck too many and was caught in the covers.

The arrival of Dom at number 7 promised to steady the ship but he was soon gone without scoring after another run out, again involving Roborbob. For the stats fans, Steve Waugh was known as the run-out man for being involved in 77 run outs in 288 one day innings, more than any other batsman. He was to blame for 50 of those run outs.

So the Greys were in trouble at 89 for 6 and were finding scoring difficult against a bowling attack that seemed to know how to bowl on a slow wicket. The Greysman were not quite as patient in their approach. Block, block attempted smash, being the batting philosophy.

Roborbob helped move the score above 100 with a couple of big hits. One six looked set to dent an opponent’s car behind the boundary rope before being diverted by the upright of a football goalpost (PSM) with a satisfying ‘ping’! (PSM) The first time a six and goal has been scored in a single sporting stroke.  A second six ended up in a tree behind the bowler’s head. Bob was out for 69 after playing an attempted sweep across the line. Chiefy played a memorable cover drive on his return to the side but the Greys were all out for an underpar 121.

As is often the case the sun came out and the conditions for batting seemed easier for the second innings. Ben and Dom bowled well without really threatening to take a wicket. At 45-0 Chiefy came into the attack and immediately began to trouble the batsman with the guile of his well flighted offspin.  His spell included a double wicket maiden and a Roborbob nomination for a diverted slip catch from Alex with the gloves. The Shadow bowled an excellent spell at the other end but was unfortunate to finish wicketless.

Chiefy’s figures of 5-37 from 12.5 overs gave the Greys a glimmer of hope of an unlikely win , but we were about 50 runs short in truth resulting in an early finish and beers in the local pub, The Laboring Man.

[1] 38.1 Out Run out

Either batsman is out Run out, except as in 38.2, if, at any time while the ball is in play, he/she is out of his/her ground and his/her wicket is fairly put down by the action of a fielder even though No ball has been called, except in the circumstances of 38.2.2.2, and whether or not a run is being attempted.

38.3 Which batsman is out

The batsman out in the circumstances of 38.1 is the one whose ground is at the end where the wicket is put down.

Is that any help? In my opinion ‘A run is never worth a wicket, if in doubt don’t run!’