TMGs vs Firle August 2010 by Alex Fenton

After waiting for Terry to be late and realising that Jerry had not
done away with that Aussie bloke that used to play for us, we made our
way to the Ram at Firle for a swift one before the game. Here we
learnt about the history of the Greengage family and how they invented
plums, while bemoaning the fact that the price of the Harvey’s had
rocketed to £2.55. Firle CC is the oldest place in the world,
apparently, and hasn’t changed for two hundred million years. Or was
that crocodiles? Or Terry? Anyway, we had an extra half an hour of
it’s history to enjoy as the opposition chose to exercise their
historic right to turn up late for Brighton pub team. This gave a
chance to warm up after our enforced break and for Terry to scare a
small boy by declaring “we’re from Brighton, but we’re not gay”.
Biff tossed and in an unexpected move, chose to bat first. He also
refused the used of an orange instead of a ball, but okayed the use of
a small boy. Not sure if it was the scared one, but if it was, good
foresight, Terry.

Jerry managed only 10, before his trademark guide into gully’s hands,
but Biff and Mel ( or whatever the Aussie guy is called), put on 70
odd for the second wicket with Biff cutting the ball to the same spot
just short of the boundary time and time again. He was eventually
caught for 40, with Melboy getting caught and bowled on 34. Both were
looking good for big scores, and the Greys never really picked up the
momentum again. Terry made a gritty 18 and double D 15, but no one
else made double figures. The PSM ocurred during this time, when Alex
smote…smoted….smited the ball (whatever. The ball was definitely
smitten) over the square cow boundary for six. We finished on 175,
knowing it was a 220 outfield, but was it a 220 pitch? Could Firle
chase it down?

Tea was a cakey affair, and trumping in the field followed
approximately 20 mins later. Great spells from Rob and Dave gave them
two wickets apiece, but they suffered their fair share of the
appalling display of catching, especially Rob. 8 drops was
Pakistanesque, but 6 were held, and with a return to form for Ian,
taking 3, Richard with 2 and Ib with 1, TMG wrapped things up with 50
runs and 4 overs to spare. It may have been quicker but for the tricky
ninth wicket partnership of blocker and small boy. The pace of Sewell
and Partridge was deemed too fearsome for small boy, who looked more
capable than most of the Greys of playing with a staright bat. The
partnership was broken by the umpire giving an LBW which could hardly
be called plum, or indeed greengage (ok, that was a bit forced).
Fines fuhrer had a field day with the drops, raising £10 for the otter
trust. “now you know what it was like in Nazi Germany”, muttered


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