CONFESSIONS OF A GREYSMAN Those familiar with the antics of Timothy Lea in the popular 1970’s series of British ‘adult’ comedies may wish to look away now.The following match report bears […]

Operation: Three of Diamonds. Crack Team: Field Agents Wig, Biff, Robor, Shadow, Zonk, Clunk, Amstel, Hat-Rick, QB, Eeyo, Postie. All make a circle with your hand and place it around […]

In 1987 a crack commando unit was sent to Ford Open Prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from the minimum–security stockade to the Hanover underground. Today, still […]

Perhaps, more than any other team sport, cricket is influenced by playing conditions, and perhaps, more than any other team sport, over the course of the game, the swing in […]

Sayers Common. Never the most celebrated Common; it certainly lacks the clout of a Wimbledon or even a Clapham. Nevertheless, not two years previous I remember the place as green […]

Audio match report by Hatrick

Findon Cricket Club, nestling under the Downs; deer cavorting in the lynchets – was a perfect setting. The Greys were keen to get a forty over game under their belts […]

The Mighty Greys has a number of enduring traditions. Whether it’s Terry telling anybody that’ll listen about his century at Bodle Street; Jerry getting caught at slip or gully; Robbie […]

Nothing beats a sunny September day. Clear and crisp but warm enough for t-shirts, and so it turned out on the morning of our fixture against hard to beat Cutters […]

6.19 a.m.  Monday 9th September   “Fuck me.  I’m awake.  I think.  My head is thumping.   Think I had too much to dream last night. What time is it?”.  The room is till […]

An extraordinary run of form for the Greys batting unit meant that the skipper arrived at Lindfield with a few dilemmas. No longer can it be relied upon that batsmen […]

Long ago, at the beginning of time, Gaia (Mother Earth) asked one of her sons, Cronus, to mutilate his father, Uranus (Sky). Cronus cut off Uranus’ testicles and threw them into the sea. They […]

It was a good day, it was a hot day, it was a humid and a little bit overcast. Perfect cricketing weather. It was 25 degrees, overcast and humid; 4 […]

For our second game of the season at our old rivals Warninglid TMG’s convened at the Half Moon pub from various parts of the country some hours before the game […]

The cold (lengthy) meanderings of HatRick’s uglier, meaner alter ego… BaldRick Everything you know about the game is wrong. Forget the coaching. Forget those long winters in the nets. Forget […]

Should I Stay or Should I Go?  In many ways a classic Greys team performance with everyone making an important contribution, only with a bolt-on loony bit that I don’t want to think about, so I might […]

A well renowned sports journalist commented to me that he enjoyed my last week’s match report as it contained a lot of cricket. Heart warming as that was this week’s […]

When you go to Denton it comes as little surprise that the tea comprises, no salad, and quite a lot of savouries encased in pastry.  Having won the toss Denton elected to […]

All season, the standout game on the fixture card has been Southwater. Knowing that a completely new ground has been laid out, manicured and rolled as flat as a shirt […]

So many ideas , interpretive modern dance , a silent black & white movie with organ soundtrack or even pulling in all my celebrity favours and doing a kind of […]

This week’s match report is in mp3 format for your aural pleasures…

Team news: Dave the Kid Hadrill, EO, Jerry, Hatrick, Dunc, Biff, Alex, Zonk, Terry, and Postman Dan. Probably 4-4-2 formation. 30 overs. This is a long standing Greys fixture – […]

Note from the Editor: Not only is Dom smashing Greys’ records on the pitch, he’s also submitting match reports to the Greys’ editorial team by the Tuesday morning. Its May, […]

The Johnny Fixtures Guide to How to Write a Greys Match Report You should be prepared. If you haven’t been desperately trying to think of an original style or indeed […]

When I started playing for the Greys, during the Pleistocene, they introduced me to a man called Bob Golby.   “This is Bob the Bastard”, they said  “Why are you called Bob the Bastard, Bob”, I asked  “Because […]

It’ another first – TMGs first ever crowd-sourced match report! Duncan: “Biff can you bring your radio?” Biff: “Roger wilco” Biff: “Hang on though, there’s no cricket or rugby on!” […]

Parallel Universes and sliding doors Due to some unsavoury day time quizzing by Mr Sewell, the Mighty Greys Whatsapp group on the lead up to the match was dominated by […]

Well, y’all read these things to see what it says about you, so here it is:    The Greys First Ever Player Rater  vs Hartfield  28th April 2019  Hatrick  Played some terrific flashing blade strokes […]

The parched brown earth at Streat and Westmeston presented gaping fault lines throughout the outfield . With only 4mm of rain since the middles of May the crispy, brown surface […]

Exciting New Short Game Format with Catchy Name -World CupT20+20(%),(“+another 5%”, pointed out Ben) I am going to take this opportunity to match the style of my report with the […]

On another beautiful, hot, sunny Sunday, the worlds’ greatest cricket team travelled along the coastal road to Newhaven, to play regular opposition Denton. With the skip having won the toss […]

Sunday night: “Don’t get on the mothership” shouts Alex, “DO NOT GET ON THE MOTHERSHIP!” “Ok mate”, says Biff, ducking just in time as a flock of Pine Martens swoops […]